Baptism as an infant was a great gift from God. After trying to prove to myself in my late 20's that Catholic theology was "wrong," I came to the inescapable conclusion that it was actually correct. Then I full embraced what God was trying to get me to understand.
Why you so misunderstand the bible and what it says is incredible to me---but I just now remembered in real time that you are trying to interpret it without the guidance of the Third Person of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit. So again, I am aware of your problem.
But I would remind you---your lack of trust in God's word is dangerous to your soul---"For when God has spoken, in precept and yet more in promise, distrust involves, at least potentially, an element of disobedience. His supreme claim is to be trusted to command only what is right, and to promise only what is true. He is infinitely sympathetic in His insight, and infallibly knows where distrust comes only of the dim perceptions and weak mis-givings of our mortal nature, and where, on the other hand, a moral resistance lies at the back of the non-confidence. But the presence of that darker element is always to be suspected, at least, and searched for in serious self-examination."
You would do well to heed such a warning.