How long did your partner cheat on you before you discovered it?

Before I got married, a girlfriend of mine was cheating for about a month when I found out about it. She and I had been dating for about three months. I was in the Marine Corps at the time, and the man she was seeing was in another unit. 



~

For years I felt I was not good enough or interesting enough that they wouldn't eventually look elsewhere.  And when it did I think I pretty much knew but didn't make a fuss as long as it didn't become acute, in which case I would tell them it was time for me to go.  But mostly they did not and I was the one who "cheated".  With time on my hands when my boyfriends were at work or away I would get in my car and visit guys I knew would give me a warm welcome.  Well sometimes they didn't if they were with others, but I usually had a few friends I could go to I knew would make me feel good. I guess that is now what they call "FWB".  I tried to be discreet but sometimes they did find out and would give me lectures or ultimatums.  To which I did not know how to respond since it was not as if I was looking to leave or end my primary relationship.  Which I did end when I felt they were losing interest in me whether they were "cheating" or not.  I wanted to avoid the disappointment and hurt  of being left so I guess I did sort of "pre-emptive" breakups.  Which of course I still had to go through anyway but I felt at least I was handling by moving on.

Not sure I ever really questioned their right to ''cheat" because I knew from experience It was hard for me not to.  And I quite idealistically concluded while still a teenager that people should be free to be intimate with who they want. I could never promise sexual fidelity though mostly they just expected it.  It is easy to "cheat", but almost impossible to try and integrate into a loving continuing relationship without sneaking around.  So for years I just figured I would never marry.  Though I wanted to and came close a couple of times.  And is still some kind of an issue even at my age and in a marriage to someone who accepts me bad and good and I am pretty sure will last unto "death do us part".

My first wife was screwing my boss for nine months before she told me.