There is only one person I expected to be truthful with me. In fact i depended on it. My first clue should have been the secrets. Things done in secret never turn out to be good. Ever!
I'm so sorry that you experienced that. I did too once upon a time long long ago. The hurt never goes away. Thank you for your reply Sunshine and Happy Sunday! :)
I am never a fan of lies... I really don't think any good comes from lying... and I don't believe it's in any way honourable.. I came close to lying, or rather not telling my daughter something about 2 weeks ago... I've never wrestled with my conscience so much... I KNEW that what I had to tell her would devastate her...make her lose hope... and I could have not told her, not yet.. not when she is trying so hard working towards takin her exams in a month or so.... But in the end I told her... it was AWFUL and I so wish I hadn't had to ...but it was the right thing to do.. it would have been wrong to let her go on thinking something was fine when it wasnt.... It's always better to tell the truth even if the truth is painful... there is skill in telling the truth gently and compassionately...
The Nazis are at your door. You are hiding Jews up in the attic. They ask if you know of the location of any Jews because some are missing. Do you tell the truth and send the Jews to their death or do you lie? I know that it is an extreme circumstance Addb but there are times in life when one is confronted with extreme circumstances. I say I never lie. I would lie to save the life of Jews against whom Nazis perpetrated an extreme hatred. Perhaps I am more sensitive than most. I am of Armenian heritage and the Turks committed genocide against my people though on a smaller scale. We "just" lost 1.5 million. The Jews lost 6 million. Sometimes a lie is the kindest/greatest/purest gift you can provide someone. A lie told to save another's life is not comparable to a lie told to save you from embarrassment or ridicule. Then you have the case of a widow. She knows nothing of her husband's affair with her best friend that went on for years. Would you approach her and tell her what you know or would you say nothing? Saying nothing when you know a truth is the same as lying isn't it? I think kindness/compassion comes first. And when you tell someone the truth you have to know whether you do it make yourself feel better. If it hurts the person unnecessarily then what was the point of it? I have no idea to what you refer. Only you know that. Thank you for your thoughtful sharing of your personal experience. Happy Sunday! :)
A lie is a lie. Sometimes a lie requires another lie in an effort to cover up. Sometimes an act of omission is the better strategy when the truth would cause needless pain and grief to those who are innocent bystanders. I'm not an advocate of dishonesty because I have difficulty myself telling a lie successfully. I think that lies only compound the problem at hand. We sometimes fail to remember that the power of life and death is contained in the tongue and that the tongue is an unruly member that's difficult to control. I learned a long time back that there are those who want it straight and to the point regardless of feelings or emotions. In those cases, be direct. In a career of working with jurists, I found that they already knew the truth before the question was asked. But still, I can't help but think about those who would be needlessly hurt in the ripple effect.
The only things I think are superior to truth are kindness/compassion. If you tell someone a hurtful truth to make yourself feel better I think that is not a good enough reason. If the truth makes things better for the person eventually then by all means do so. But if it conveys a big hurt that the person has to live with the rest of his/her life without any other benefit then it was wrong. Just my opinion. Thank you for your reply driftwood and Happy Sunday! :)
This post was edited by RosieG at April 9, 2017 11:09 AM MDT
Sunshine 