When you are at one of the lowest points in your life, where do find the strength to keep going?

It isn't at all easy to overcome that much devastation, but you do whatever it takes to get through one day at a time.  You tell yourself whatever you have to, justify whatever you need to, blame anyone or anything that needs blaming and you cry - a lot.  Things may never be the same again, they will just be different.  It will take a long time, but eventually, you will build a new life and there can be happiness in it - just not the same kind of happiness you've been used to.  Hopefully, one day you will look back on these travails and realize how strong you really are and you'll be proud of yourself for walking through the fire. 

It's hard to say or name so I guess it came down to the little things and was day by day.

Though I'm not sure I've been in the same place you are describing.   Might have just had a few tastes as opposed to a full serving.

Karen, I have been sitting here struggling with the words that might be of help to you.  I don't think I can say it any better than Spunky Senior has done here.  I wish there was a formula I could hand to you.  From my limited interaction with you, believe me, you are a lot stronger than you realize.  A major life shift requires the time needed to digest it all before you can plan accordingly.  For me, the solution to finding the strength to keep going, was asking for help from my closest friends.  They had the strength at a time when I lacked it. They had the ability to prop me up and keep me afloat when I wasn't capable of it.  They reminded me that I had to keep things in perspective and recognize that no matter what I was going through, there were people in the world who had it far worse than I.  

Dear Karen,
I like what Spunky Senior is saying...the day-by-day, maybe even hour by hour.
I have come to believe there may be a natural emotional healing/balancing that goes on, and to give that time...sometimes getting a stack of film noir (or comedy, or whatever favourite film) and just vegetate for a while...distracting myself.

Avoid alcohol, or other addictions that do self-medicate but are difficult to back out of later.

Something that may sound AWFUL right now...but in retrospect, I do value those times of total rock-bottom tragedy and upheaval...because life is by nature sorrowful, and somehow to endure confers a richness, an understanding of full human experience.

First of all ((hugs)) my dearest friend, I know you from AB, Karen, life is not always the same, it has its ups and downs, it is made that way, otherwise how will we know if we are in pain or in joy? It is easy for others to say don't worry, the clouds will pass, but how you carry yourself during the storm matters more than the storm itself. I dunno if you pray but I do, and you are going to be in my prayers. Destiny has its twists my friend, when things are going good it takes a back turn but catch hold of destiny,  wrestle with it, with all your power. You will win, you have always been a WINNER! This post was edited by Veena.K at April 10, 2017 6:09 AM MDT

Awwww don't cry everything will be ok.  (((((HUGS)))))

Karen, I'm so sorry. We'd all love to help but I doubt if anybody can add to what Spunky has already written. We can hold you in our hearts and feel for you -- and that's small comfort when you're in pain -- but sometimes it helps to know that your friends are thinking about you.

How does anybody cope? Slowly. Just one breath at a time. 

Sadly I've been through times like this. There were a few things that helped. 
1. Try your best to stick to your schedule. If you can't stick to the whole daily schedule, do your best to stick to the things that you can do.  
2. No expectations. There is no rule book saying how you are "supposed" to be. You are an individual, unlike anyone else. 
3. Do not look at the whole picture. Only think about right now, and what you need to get through to the next thing you need to do. If you look at everything you will run screaming from the room or curl up in a tiny ball. 
4. Be kind to yourself. No "what if's", no blaming yourself, no punishing yourself. 
5. Cry, breathe, cry, breathe. Repeat
6. Get out of the house and go for a walk. Do that every time you feel overwhelmed or you feel the walls closing in. 
7. Get support. Friends, family, support groups, religion. Anything that reminds you that you are not alone, and that others have made it through. 
8. HAVE FAITH IN YOURSELF. Even if you don't believe it at this time, you tell yourself that this life will NEVER give you ANYTHING that you will not be able to get through. 
9. Eat, drink water and try and sleep.  Hunger, dehydration and sleep deprivation  will make your problem worse. 
10. Seek help if you are in need. Go to a therapist or call a helpline if you need to. There is no shame in asking for help. 
There might come a time where you are focused on before and after the incident. You might fantasize about running when that news was presented to you, you might be concerned about being the same person. Fantasizing is normal, it's your minds way of processing. Just don't get lost in there. Sometimes your mind just needs a break too. Practice self care whenever you can. Wishing you moments of peace and comfort. I'm so sorry that your life is upside down. Just keep looking up. Soon your body, mind, spirit and heart will be upright too. 


This post was edited by dragonfly46 at April 10, 2017 2:24 AM MDT

I'm sincerely sorry you're struggling. When I went through something similar, I agree with the others- it's day by day or hour by hour. Following the chaos, it is an opportunity to rebuild with intention. When the pain subsides, you'll have the opportunity to rebuild and make life whatever you want it to be. As crappy as whatever was that brought you to your low, with the ground already leveled, you define your future. This is true whether the loss was a person, a job, a home, whatever. You will come through it stronger and can create the life you want.

I have had somethings happen, and really all you can do is cry at first. Most people will have the will to survive that will surface. Eventually you just relearn to put one foot in front of the other and you start moving. It is slow at first, and you stumble. But as long as your general direction is forward you will find eventually you are indeed moving on. It may not be where you had planned, or what you had planned, but really what in life ever is?

I wish you luck and I hope you have a good support system around you.