Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » Excellent parenting has deteriorated. I know what parents used to teach their children when I was a kid. What do they teach today?
RosieG

Excellent parenting has deteriorated. I know what parents used to teach their children when I was a kid. What do they teach today?

You can't blame the kids for what they are. They had no choice. A combination of DNA and environment shaped and controlled by their parents. So we blame their parents. But the parents had parents too and so we can blame them. How far back do we go assessing blame for the abominable conditions we see today in the world because of the people, some of whom are despicable? Lousy parenting because of lousy goals and lousy morals and lousy views? I dunno. Do you?

Posted - May 15, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • Everyone has a choice. I know plenty of people who came from horrible families that turned out great because they made a choice. Sure, we can blame the parents and the parents before for creating a hostile or unfriendly environment and for not teaching the children how to be adults and act responsibly, but the kids must be held accountable for their own actions.
      May 15, 2017 5:52 AM MDT
    3

  • 113301
    I agree with thee Corey with one huge caveat. Some parents damage their children in ways that stay with them forever. If a child is tough he/she can survive it. But there are some children who are fragile and gentle souls and cannot take hurtful/harmful treatment. They get crushed. There are a few things I can't forget that hurt me when my mom said them to me many decades ago. My dad never once said anything to hurt me. I haven't outgrown her words. They are immortally etched in my memory. But they didn't cripple me or crush me. I expect they did change me a bit though. :(
      May 17, 2017 5:36 AM MDT
    0

  • 5450
    I halfway agree with Corey and halfway agree with Rosie.  I pay a lot of attention to my family members and how they relate to each other.  Sure, everyone has a choice but in some cases it's pretty obvious how they got to be that way.

    One of my cousins just loves Halloween.  It's her favorite day of the year!  She's on the left side of the political spectrum and she's also a witch (Wiccan).  Her brother had an EP account.  His username had the word spank in it and all of his groups and stories were about spanking.  Their dad is my mom's brother.  He's a hardcore born again Christian who didn't let them have Halloween, wouldn't let them watch things like the Smurfs because it contained witchcraft (Harry Potter was out of the question.), spanked them for everything and politically he's as far right as you can get.  He even lives in the reddest part of his state!

    Umm yeah, so I think it's pretty easy to see how parents shape their children lol. This post was edited by Livvie at May 17, 2017 1:09 PM MDT
      May 17, 2017 12:07 PM MDT
    0

  • 22891
    probably different things than when you were a kid
      May 15, 2017 2:34 PM MDT
    0

  • I call BS! Like Corey The Goofyhawk said, there comes a time when you have to take responsibility for your own actions. Kids, once adults, can turn out the total opposite of how they were raised whether it be good or bad. 
      May 15, 2017 2:41 PM MDT
    1

  • Amen!
      May 15, 2017 5:43 PM MDT
    1

  • 113301
    I disagree with thee completely. It depends on how tough/fragile the child is. It depends on how cruel/hurtful the parents are in word or deed. We are not all alike. Some of us crush easily and forever. Some of us don't. If the damage that was done is severe enough it never leaves you. If you lose a limb it doesn't grow back again. You can get one that's artificial of course but it will never be the same. Some folks bounce back higher and get stronger from the challenges. Others just don't have the muscles or agility or ability.  We all have limitations that intellectualization cannot erase.The part you can control isn't always the part that harms you most. Different strokes Karen.   Thank you for your reply.
      May 17, 2017 5:42 AM MDT
    0

  • 7280
    It is quite possible for parents to develop problems in their children that those children will most likely not be able to deal with effectively without professional help.

    Some children are so damaged that they are unable to take responsibility for what they are in the sense of being able to overcome what has happened to them.


      May 15, 2017 3:23 PM MDT
    1

  • 113301
    I often wonder how some children who suffered dearly from having terrible parents survived and became excellent parents themselves. I suppose it has to do with how tough they are and of course having lousy examples helps them learn what NOT TO BE/DO/SAY early on.  Thank you for your thoughtful answer tj and Happy Wednesday. My younger sis and I had good parents. They weren't perfect but especially our dad always told us that we could do anything we wanted to do if we were willing to work hard for it. He gave us confidence in ourselves and unconditional love. Our mom was not quite as good at parenting but we knew she loved us and did her best. SIGH. Our dad was a happy guy. I wish mom were happier with her life though.  She was the kind of person who would focus on the 5% she didn't have rather than the 95% she did. We take after our dad! Whatever he had he was grateful for and appreciated! :) This post was edited by RosieG at May 17, 2017 5:32 AM MDT
      May 17, 2017 5:31 AM MDT
    0

  • 5450
    I thought my dad was a great parent and I admired him.  I still love my mom because, well, she's my mom.  It's kind of obvious that people are bad parents when they abuse or neglect their children but apart from that it kind of gets harder to say what's a good parent and what's a bad parent.  Sometimes the kids are just lousy people no matter what the the parents do.  My dad parented my brother, my half-brother and me the same way but he didn't get the same result with my half-brother.  My half-brother was my mom's kid but not my dad's.  Anyway, my half-brother was a total loser just like his natural father.

    The thing I see the most in my own family is in-between good and bad parents.  They weren't physically abusive but they were obsessive or had strange priorities and beliefs so their kids grew up to resent them.
      May 17, 2017 11:44 AM MDT
    0