I want to be strong enough to have the patience to get better at being a parent to give my son all of the knowledge and self confidence that he'll need to survive and to be a happy person and to to live a healthy, fullfilling life because I love him.
Aww..thanks. I have my good days and some days I gotta remind myself to get it together, be patient, stop whatever I'm doing and listen to him and take time to give thoughtful answers to every little question he asks because I might not get another chance. Everything we do and say as parents has a lasting impact. It's a lifelong job and somedays I forget to do the best I can, but I keep trying and luckily he's such a great kid that he makes me seem like a perfect parent. I'm not. He treat's me with absolute respect and he is caring and empathetic toward me and he gets awards in school and I'm probably gonna end up learning more from him. I think in some ways my son is raising me.
It's very much a two-way street. Just try not to be too hard on yourself. The wonderful things he gives to you are only possible because of the wonderful things you give to him. :-)
Aww...thanks Sharona. I guess I knew I wanted a child and so I was mentally prepared when it happened and I still remember holding him in my arms and hearing him breathe and just wanting to keep him safe. I'll Iove him so much. I honestly have a tear running down my face because you said that, thanks. : )
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at July 30, 2017 7:44 AM MDT
There have been several members here and there on this site and Answer Bag that had the word Truth in their avatar. None of them were worth having many conversations with. Most of them were very "racist or bible thumpy". LOL
I am so glad to see a genuine person with that name. The fact that you are a mom and care about your son that much? That touches me deeply. I know that in your core, you have that selfless mindset that all good moms have. That will get you where you need to go, I'm certain. Loving another and thinking of their needs first, shows everyone an example of how to behave in their own lives. You are a quiet role model for us all.
It's OK, I've had to be dad and mom at times for my son. Nothing different than what single moms go through being mom and dad. I am a guy though, LoL! : )
It sounds as if your son is your entire life m'dear. I hope that isn't true. One day he will go off to live his own life with other people and while you may still have a loving and close relationship he will have other influences and people in his life that may change him. So find something just for yourself having nothing to do with him and tell me what that is. Things don't always work out the way we anticipate no matter how loving we are. Just a caution to remind you that you will always have yourself. In the end that's all any of us have. Even though we are surrounded by loved one we die alone and we take that final trip alone. I don't mean to be a downer Truthseeker. I'm just sharing a bit of what I have observed/experienced. Thank you for a lovely answer and Happy Sunday to you! :)
I guess he is my whole life for now. He just has no brothers or sisters yet and a lot of people have died in my family recently and sometimes I fear that I'm all he will have when he's an adult until he gets married. I'm scared of him being alone in the world if something happens to me so I'm trying to prepare him to be very independent if needed. So it's not so much that I'm clinging to him as if he is all I have, but rather I want to help him to be strong enough to be alone if I'm gone. I don't know if that makes sense, I'm just trying to provide for him. I'm gonna try to leave him with as much as I can.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at July 30, 2017 6:47 AM MDT
I was a single mom. My ex, his dad, never provided the child support he was required to provide via the courts. I, like you, was in constant fear that if something happened to me who would care for him? One day when he was 18 and visiting me on a college break (he attended Cal Berkeley..too far from home to live with me so he lived there in Berkeley for 4 years)I realized he could do his own laundry, cook his own meals, make his own decisions and not only take very good care of himself but probably me too. I still remember that day very clearly. A great burden was lifted at that moment. He is 51 now and lives and teaches in Hawaii. I live in California. I did my job and I did it well. You are doing your job well too I'm sure. I don't know how old your son is but one day you will also realize that your son will be able to take very good care of himself and probably very good care of you if need be. I'm glad my reply didn't upset you. At least by your words it hasn't seemed to. I thank you for that. I always say what I think but I don't intend to hurt people. I'm trying to be helpful.! My son is an only child and has no siblings either but he has some very good friends) :)
No it didn't upset me at all. I can see how it would appear that I am smothering him and need to get a life of my own. In reality I'm really quite used to being alone and that doesn't really scare me, but I do love him dearly (he's 10) and I have been there since the day he was born, but I definitely have my own dreams of of working more once he's grown and I want to find love again and have relationships and a life of my own as well. Thanks, happy Sunday to you too Rosie. : )
You have no idea how very happy I am to hear that m'dear! Good for you! At the tender age of ten you do have a few more years to go when you will have to be right there for your son. I'm sure they will fly by. You can't imagine how stunned I am that I have a son who is 51! Where did the years go? Where was I during all that time because I sure didn't notice it. You have a job to finish and you will do it in style I'm sure! :)
Benedict Arnold 