Discussion » Questions » Relationships » If you forgive someone of something but still disapprove of what they did, do you have to restore your friendship/relationship?

If you forgive someone of something but still disapprove of what they did, do you have to restore your friendship/relationship?

Well do you?

Posted - August 14, 2017

Responses


  • 13071
    Restoration usually precedes forgiveness  doesn't it?
      August 14, 2017 4:43 PM MDT
    2

  • 7939
    No. If someone is toxic and has a bad impact on your life, you probably shouldn't renew the relationship.
      August 14, 2017 5:38 PM MDT
    4

  • 8214
    I forgave someone long ago, however the core reason why she did it to begin with still exists.

    She did not learn a lesson from it this makes her a dangerous person to have around me.

    It was not a small thing by any means. 





    This post was edited by Art Lover at August 15, 2017 12:27 PM MDT
      August 14, 2017 5:45 PM MDT
    3

  • You don't HAVE to, no. It depends on whether that person has accepted the deed as a wrongdoing, and is making a genuine effort to improve. 

    When I was at college a boy humiliated me a few times for not giving in to his sexual advances. I hated him: in fact I was very scared of him. About five years ago we ran into each other, and we exchanged pleasantries. We had coffee at a restaurant and he was most civil to me, a thorough gentleman. In the course of the conversation he did mention he had long regretted his cruel remarks of years ago, and I told him we were both very young then and it was best to let bygones be bygones.

    We are very good friends now. He has his own portfolio management firm, and has been personally helping me with my investments. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at August 15, 2017 12:27 PM MDT
      August 14, 2017 5:58 PM MDT
    4

  • 3523
    Nice.  A happy ending!  I hope that happens to me.
      August 15, 2017 12:25 PM MDT
    2

  • If you have it in your heart to make it happen, it will happen. 
      August 15, 2017 12:50 PM MDT
    0

  • 7126
    Not at all.
      August 14, 2017 6:43 PM MDT
    3

  • 23577
    Bingo. Agreed.
      August 14, 2017 8:06 PM MDT
    2

  • 19937
    No, it isn't mandatory that you renew the relationship.  What you need to do is decide whether you believe that person will not repeat the offensive behavior and, if they do, is the relationship important enough to you to renew it.
      August 14, 2017 7:06 PM MDT
    4

  • 23577

    No.

    No explanation of why from me.

    Just a "No, you don't have to do that."
    This post was edited by WelbyQuentin at August 14, 2017 9:31 PM MDT
      August 14, 2017 8:05 PM MDT
    1

  • 23577
    I didn't mean for my answer to come across as possibly stand-offish. I just meant a "no," like LyricalOne and Thriftymaid said.
    :)
      August 15, 2017 7:18 AM MDT
    1

  • 3523
    I get it.  Thanks.
      August 15, 2017 12:26 PM MDT
    1

  • 17596
    No.
      August 14, 2017 8:21 PM MDT
    2

  • 46117
    To forgive is to let it go and let God deal with it.  That's all forgiveness is.  It no longer has a hold on YOU. 

    Now forgetting is a totally different matter.  I don't forget. 

    You don't change?  You don't enter my life.  You change?  All is forgiven but still never forgotten.  However, just because I do not forget, does not mean that it is a bad thing.  Sometimes the memory of what a person did serves as a wonderful reminder of how great it is that the person changed because look at him/her now.

    That kind of thing is always nice to compare.   If they don't change.... they need to stay gone.
      August 15, 2017 12:29 PM MDT
    1