Discussion»Questions»Relationships» If you forgive someone of something but still disapprove of what they did, do you have to restore your friendship/relationship?
I forgave someone long ago, however the core reason why she did it to begin with still exists. She did not learn a lesson from it this makes her a dangerous person to have around me.
It was not a small thing by any means.
This post was edited by Art Lover at August 15, 2017 12:27 PM MDT
You don't HAVE to, no. It depends on whether that person has accepted the deed as a wrongdoing, and is making a genuine effort to improve.
When I was at college a boy humiliated me a few times for not giving in to his sexual advances. I hated him: in fact I was very scared of him. About five years ago we ran into each other, and we exchanged pleasantries. We had coffee at a restaurant and he was most civil to me, a thorough gentleman. In the course of the conversation he did mention he had long regretted his cruel remarks of years ago, and I told him we were both very young then and it was best to let bygones be bygones.
We are very good friends now. He has his own portfolio management firm, and has been personally helping me with my investments.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at August 15, 2017 12:27 PM MDT
No, it isn't mandatory that you renew the relationship. What you need to do is decide whether you believe that person will not repeat the offensive behavior and, if they do, is the relationship important enough to you to renew it.
To forgive is to let it go and let God deal with it. That's all forgiveness is. It no longer has a hold on YOU.
Now forgetting is a totally different matter. I don't forget.
You don't change? You don't enter my life. You change? All is forgiven but still never forgotten. However, just because I do not forget, does not mean that it is a bad thing. Sometimes the memory of what a person did serves as a wonderful reminder of how great it is that the person changed because look at him/her now.
That kind of thing is always nice to compare. If they don't change.... they need to stay gone.
Benedict Arnold 