Discussion » Questions » Relationships » When a friend doesn't reply or say anything about something you said..?
Baybreeze

When a friend doesn't reply or say anything about something you said..?

I have a friend in which i've told a certain story, two times, and they have not said much of anything about it (online). It is a very personal story with negative things that happened to me. I responded to their negative reminiscing /past story, but they didn't really say much of mine.. I felt hurt. It was about me having physical and mental abuse. It wasn't a light topic. Do you just let it go when  a friend says nothing? Were they just too nervous to say anything ? I jsut feel if a friend tells me something that makes THEM feel so sad, I couldn't not say ANY thing :/ How do you feel?

Posted - August 15, 2017
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Responses


  • 13071
    How personal was the message? Maybe they felt uncomfortable about your story and didnt know how to respond. I dont know enough about your relationship or exactly what you wrote to him/her so i cant see much more than that Baybreeze. 
      August 15, 2017 12:22 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    It was personal, but we had both exchanged quite personal back stories on ourselves. I commented on thiers, and how sorry I was, but nothing from their end for me. I mean I felt sad... do you just say something, do you just try to 'move on' ? it's hard to do that feeling this friend, didn't really care, or even maybe say 'sorry' if they felt awkward. If someone told ME they were in a bad car accident and can no longer use their leg as much as once could, even though it is awkward, I couldn't imagine saying 'nothing'.... you know?
      August 15, 2017 12:31 AM MDT
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  • 7126
    Is this the same friend who has to be reminded of dates to go out and in general doesn't pay much attention to you?
      August 15, 2017 12:23 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    No .. luckily. That still weighs on my mind though :/  It's a person I talked to online, and when they didn't respond to my story, I pointed out, oh I just posted my new message in case you hadn't seen... (they had asked me about my anxiety)... and after writing it a second time, they still didn't say anything. It just made me feel so sad, that it seems it meant nothing.  B/c I doubt myself, i don't speak up either. Most would prob. SAY, that made me feel kinda crappy you didn't reply at all two times to that story.. but i don't DREAM of saying that. I jsut don't know, it made me feel something that went 'off' in my life was not worth replying to, and even if you didn't know what to say, even 'I'm sorry' just ANY thing :(  
      August 15, 2017 12:28 AM MDT
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  • 7126
    You could ask if what you said made them uncomfortable rather than try to guess what's going on.
      August 15, 2017 12:37 AM MDT
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  • 1138
    You have a great memory by the way... thanks for remembering. 
      August 15, 2017 12:33 AM MDT
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  • 19937
    This seems to be a pattern for you.  Perhaps you are considering them to be a friend when they are considering you as an acquaintance.  I'm not sure I would want to get too involved with an acquaintance that has a lot of personal problems, especially if I had a lot of my own.  I'm not trying to make you feel bad, just giving you my personal opinion with what little of that relationship I know.
      August 15, 2017 10:23 AM MDT
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  • 17596
    Someone you talk to online may or may not be a friend.  Be sure your stories are invited.  If talking about these things is something you feel like you need to do, go see a therapist or counselor.  Confiding in a long-time real life friend is one thing, but confiding in someone you've talked to online a couple of times is something else and that something else is not helpful.  You should see that it has only made you feel worse. 
    Talk to a therapist.  She can help you categorize your negative experiences and help you deal with them one by one or in relevant groups.  You are wasting precious time on past experiences......get some help in leaving them behind. This post was edited by Thriftymaid at August 15, 2017 4:18 PM MDT
      August 15, 2017 4:16 PM MDT
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