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Baybreeze

Would you tell someone why you didn't chat/reply to them any longer?

I have a friend who has seemed kind and smart, but the only thing is the last few times we have chatted they do not ask about me at all. I ask questions or bring up a topic, and they do not to me :/  I just do not feel  a positive vibe to continue and if someone doesn't seem interested in me whatsoever, I kind of stop chatting. Would u tell the person why if they asked? 

Posted - August 22, 2017
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Responses


  • 7126
    Sounds like the type of person who probably won't ask. But if they do, yes, in a polite way, I'd tell them why.
      August 22, 2017 7:06 PM MDT
    3

  • 46117
    The definition of a bore is someone so busy talking about themselves that you don't get a chance to bore them to death and talk about yourself.

    I'd tell them.  Yes.  I would.  I'd start like this. 

    Dear Chat person,

    Here is what I know about you, and I would list a bunch of stuff.  Then I would ask them what they know about me?

    That may do it.






      August 22, 2017 7:27 PM MDT
    3

  • 19937
    Sounds as though that person doesn't really have any interest in hearing about your life. Sometimes, friendships die and that may be what happened.  Stop calling/texting this person and if they ask why, tell them exactly what you said here.
      August 22, 2017 9:45 PM MDT
    3

  • 17614
    Can I just say, Give it up already!  
      August 23, 2017 2:31 AM MDT
    2

  • 11087
    I think you spend too much time analyzing people and how they interact with you. If someone is kind, smart and willing to chat on topics that you bring up, I don't see a problem. If you don't like chatting with her, then don't. But don't try to dictate to her how you would like her to be.
      August 23, 2017 3:57 AM MDT
    2

  • 1138
    haha.. I ask interpersonal questions here rather than always mundane ones b/c I doubt a LOT of my own feelings, and if/when to speak up with someone.. that's asking for advice , b/c I feel 'wrong' a lot of the time....  so no it's not 'analyzing' anyone... In fact you are analzying me right now. If a guy spends time after time only talking about himself, and isn't interested in you, would u call that 'trying to dictate how I'd like him to be' ??? No. I'm wondering do u say something or NOT to them...... it is a casual, straight forward question. 
      August 23, 2017 9:20 AM MDT
    1

  • 11087
    Sorry, if I offended you. My point was that chatting should be a pleasant pastime. If someone asked me why I stopped chatting, and ONLY if they asked', I would say something along the lines of 'it didn't seem like we shared the same interests'. For me, personally, I do not feel it is my place to tell people that I don't care for their personality. If I did that, yes, I would feel that I am telling him how I would like him to be. You know, there are some people so uncomfortable talking about themselves, that they prefer to talk about the other person. What's right for you might not work for someone else. Speaking up for myself is one thing, making someone feel bad about himself is another. This post was edited by Jane S at August 23, 2017 12:52 PM MDT
      August 23, 2017 9:33 AM MDT
    1

  • 1138
    So strange, my other reply is below.... weird it didnt post here under your comment
      August 23, 2017 10:03 AM MDT
    1

  • 13071
    It depends on how long ive known this person. If it hasnt been that long, i would just stop chatting with them without an explanation. They probably wouldnt even notice, and keep on chatting all by themselves and not notice that i wasnt there any more.
      August 23, 2017 9:56 AM MDT
    1

  • 1138
    Well that's why I asked... wOULD You say the TRUTH.. we actaully did share some interests, but I've encountered this with quite a few guys: some, not all, just don't care to as k ANYthing about me... (or to other women). I ask question and they go fully into detail, but I get no interest back in me... so I usually just stop talking. 'Some' times a guy will say, 'wow thx, guess you are fake' when I just stop. When it was really I just couldn't continue doing all the conversation - so I don't know if he'd feel 'bad' about himself If I said  it, 'if' he asks, but it's really the truth (which I have a very hard time telling someone anyway for fear of friction/conflict).  I will use that line though, in future .. it's good to have : 'it didn't seem like we shared the same interests.'  
      August 23, 2017 10:01 AM MDT
    1