Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Do you ever send pictures to your ex?
Benedict Arnold

Do you ever send pictures to your ex?

I used to send my ex old pictures of us and I stopped because it was hard on both of us.
Now whenever something cool happens to me and my son I have this urge to send her pictures because I know she'll feel left out and I kinda want her to because she threw away our marriage and I like to show her what she's missing.
Is that messed up?
Do you ever send pictures to your ex?


Posted - August 24, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • 34286
    I have been married so long I don't even have any ex's phone number to send picts...but even if I did I would not contact. Just causes drama.
      August 24, 2017 3:55 PM MDT
    2

  • Hell no.  That's a recipe for disaster if ever there was one.
      August 24, 2017 6:02 PM MDT
    1

  • 7939
    I'm on really good terms with my former mother-in-law. Early on, I made the faux pas of sending her a photo and not my ex. Hmm... I think it involved my youngest son's first day of preschool. I told them both in advance and only she responded to my message, so when the first day came, I only sent her pictures. That did not go over well at all. My ex was super pissed because "he didn't even know his son started school." I did tell him via email that I had enrolled him, but I guess he never saw the email. *shrugs* There might have been another time after that where she got a photo that included me and my oldest son, and my ex didn't get that one. I think the discrepancy in photo sharing caused tension with that as well.

    So, now when there is something big that I want to share with my former mother-in-law, I make sure both of them get the same photos. I don't do it often. He got one on the first day of school, another of them at Disney World last summer, and that's it for the last six months. Occasionally, he sends me one as well. I got one when they went to see snow last winter. (Yes, that's a thing here. lol)

    If something important is going on, I make sure I grab a pic with just the two little ones only, so it's not awkward. He doesn't need to know what's happening in my life, and I'm sure he doesn't want photos of me or other family members. I keep him in the loop for milestones and am tactful about what goes. I'd like to think I've found decent middle ground on that one. My ex tried to get me to Facebook friend him a few times for photo sharing, but I don't want to see him or what's happening in his life, so I never accepted the friend requests. The only other alternative I can think of is to set up a photo sharing site just for family photos of the kids, but, again, I'm sure he'll start sharing pics I don't want to see. Yeah, occasional images for the sake of civility is the way to go, and always only just the kids. 
      August 24, 2017 6:04 PM MDT
    2

  • Yeah, I guess you're right.
    I'm not sending pictures to share moments with her, I'm purposely trying to get a response and I know that's not healthy.
    I know exactly how to get attention from her and when I have some really good photos doing cool stuff with the kids and I look good and over her I wanna send it and in some sick way I'm still trying to please her.
    I feel like I need to leave and go to some place new so I can forget her, but we've got to stay close for our son.
    One second I hate her, then I miss her, then I want to see her or try to hurt her by sending pictures that might get to her?
    It's enough to drive a person crazy.
    Oh well, thanks for the reply and I definitely know that you have been through much harder things in your life and I appreciate you putting up with my lovesick bullsh*t all the time. LoL!
      August 24, 2017 6:25 PM MDT
    1

  • 7939
    I think all those things are normal emotions during a divorce. When you end a relationship and you don't have kids, you can part ways and never see each other again. It helps you heal faster. When you do have kids, you're constantly pouring salt in the wound because you have to see them and have to communicate with them.

    Arizona makes you take a parenting class if you're going through a divorce and have kids. My teacher said to treat my ex like we have a "business relationship," and so I treat him as if he was a coworker or an associate. I don't do small talk. I deal only in facts and not emotions during conversation. That makes it much easier. Time helps too. Hang in there. *hugs*
      August 24, 2017 7:53 PM MDT
    2

  • "No" ... not even when she was alive.


      August 24, 2017 6:37 PM MDT
    2

  • 17599
    This is just more trouble and drama because of living your life on an electronic device.  My children's father always got copies of photos...every time I had film developed of the girls I made him a copy.  All school pictures -- he got a copy.  All professional photos -- he got one or some.....not just him but all grandparents too.   This is because he was their father.  It was the right thing to do.  When you take custody of your children your goal is what is best for them.  In most cases having two parents involved in their lives is what is best.  Sending your former spouse pictures to make him or her unhappy is sick.  
      August 25, 2017 12:45 PM MDT
    2

  • 46117
    When God closes one door, he opens another.

    SHUT the door.  Stop living in the past. 

    Is she sending YOU pictures?  You are the one who cares about the pictures way more than she does.  So stop. 
      August 25, 2017 12:46 PM MDT
    1

  • She does send me pictures, but I get your point.
    I need to have as little contact with her as possible or we probably will end up back together and my life will never get any better.
    Thanks.
      August 25, 2017 7:21 PM MDT
    0