Active Now

.
Malizz
Discussion » Questions » Family » I have a really difficult email/letter to write.. ever been in that situation? Where every word choice is important? Wanna write it for me?
Adaydreambeliever

I have a really difficult email/letter to write.. ever been in that situation? Where every word choice is important? Wanna write it for me?

It's tough.. I work for a college.. I love the college, it's got a good rep academically.. However, this same college actively discriminated against my daughter because she has a disability.. and the discrimination wasn't based on her actual disability.. but on a perception of it.. They hadn't actually even met my daughter when the principle made the decision.. 

Now, see that's wrong.. I know it's wrong, everyone else knows it's wrong.. and it's not acceptable for the college to treat people that way... 

So that leaves me with what to do about it? I've (almost) made sure my daughter is ok now, she way more than meets the criteria for the course in EVERY way, but has decided not to do that course as she fears that the teacher will be horrible to her because of what happened... But I STILL feel it's wrong.. on many levels.. and me being me.. the injustice warrior I am feels that this cannot be swept to one side.. My feeling is that the college needs to face up to what they did.. to be made VERY aware that their actions constituted disability discrimination.. 

I feel strongly on this both because of the upset and worry it caused my daughter and because I don't want to work for an organisation that so flagrantly flouts disability rules and discriminates against people who have disabilities for no good reason. That is the truth.. there was never any reason my daughter couldn't do the course - her disability isn't relevant in this case and it was just that she HAS a disability that they did what they did..  It's wrong and I don't feel ok about the college treating people like this.. they should be better than that.. I expect them to be better than that!

So that leaves me with this letter... it needs to be worded very carefully, very professionally... leave emotions and stuff aside.. don't accuse where that isn't fully supportable... and at the same time, avoid pissing them off so much that it comes back to bite either me, or worse, my daughter... 

Tough!  

Posted - September 1, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • 591
    I am not sure if you know for a fact that the principle made the decision based on your daughter's disability. Was it the principle alone who made a decision or was he/she acting on advice from someone like 'head of department' or other junior members of the faculty?
    I am asking because if it was on the advice of others it could well effect the wording of your letter, I feel that you need to be 100% sure both of what you are stating and who your actual target is. I am not from the US so not aware of any state/federal laws there regarding discrimination against people suffering from a disability. I know that public centers of education here can refuse only on the ground that it would make it difficult to teach a class but if that is the case then they must supply one on one teaching but this comes at a financial cost to the student/parents but this is proportional to income, or the student, if being taught in a 'normal' class then the disabled should be accompanied by a 'carer'.
    I will be happy to assist you in any way you feel I can be of use.
      September 1, 2017 4:41 AM MDT
    0

  • 6477
    Yea I know for a fact.. I work there remember.. so there was correspondence.. I know why the decision was made.. the tutor is WELL known and we know what happened... the principle ultimately made the decision. You are right to consider variables and possible reasons but no, no head of anything and don't forget they, none of them had ever met my daughter.. it was based on a perception, or really a mis-perception of her disabilities.. what they believed.. That wasn't factual.. I am not from the states either.. we are both UK no?  
    Daughter requires support in class for academic tasks. she doesn't need support outside of that.. She's volunteered in two settings working with children, one disabled group one vulnerable families.. that's what she wants to do ultimately.. the tutor, who as I say had never met my daughter, just didn't want a disabled kid on her course.. and it's because she discriminates.. I am surprised the principle supported that.. 
    I am happy to have assistance.. I have kinda got stuck at the moment.. I don't want to come across as nasty, want to make sure I remove any bitterness - just make sure that they know that I know it was discrimination.. and that it was wrong. .I don't want them thinking what they did was ok.. I don't want others to be in the position we were.
      September 1, 2017 3:42 PM MDT
    1

  • 7132
    That is a fine line you're walking, especially since you work there. All I can suggest, which I'm sure you already know, is to leave emotion out of it and stick to the facts. Present those, then imagine what their arguments and justifications would be and address them in a calm, rational manner, then finally express a "businesslike" sense of disappointment and your hope that it doesn't happen again.
      September 1, 2017 4:04 PM MDT
    2

  • 6477
    Excellent advice! Spot on.. 
      September 2, 2017 3:31 PM MDT
    1

  • 7132
    Hope your letter has an impact. You hate to see anyone discriminated against, but especially young people just starting out.
      September 2, 2017 3:37 PM MDT
    1

  • 591
    I am originally from the UK but it is many years since I was involved in any form of education there, the rules I mentioned are from Australia which is where I am at the moment because I have a young son and the education offered in Indonesia (where I actually live) is very poor. I know the rules here because I was trying to help an immigrant family get an autistic son into a public school here. If you would like me to help and rather have it more private then just say so and I will message you my Email and we could communicate that way.
      September 1, 2017 4:05 PM MDT
    1

  • 6477
    That's cool. It does sound  like you have an idea of how things are and should be.. Individual country's rules change a bit but the principles are probably the same.  We supposedly have disability discrimination here.. you aren't allowed to make unfair decisions or exclude someone on the basis of their disability.  That's what they did.. they didn't even meet her but decided she couldn't work with kids.. She had already volunteered working with disabled children and has since volunteered with child and family centres and a disabled children's club. There was never any reason why she couldn't do it.. the tutor just didn't want anyone she perceived might cause problems for her beloved course.. that's wrong to assume someone will cause problems :(  My daughter over and above met the requirements academically, and she had hands on experience.. 
    So yes, please... and maybe you can preview my letter when I am done.. I really want it to not sound whiney and pathetic.. I don't want to get up their noses too much, mainly cos I work there.. but I don't want them to do that to anyone else, (I have heard from other teachers and people round the college it's not the first time this has happened) and I do want them to know that it was wrong.. 
      September 2, 2017 3:39 PM MDT
    0