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Baybreeze

Grandmother who never contacts you or asks you over but expects to visit?

I love my Grandma, but for years now she has not once asked me to come over... to show an interest in ME. To show any sort of care and want to see me... I'm the only one initiating it, and when she had to move a few yrs ago I helped her get rid of junk, do laundry, clean etc, and she barely could utter thank you as I went out the door. My aunt asked, 'why do you go over there to visit?' but I guess it is my duty? I just feel she simply doesn't care if she sees me. Would u just continue to visit, say anything, or not visit as much?

Posted - September 1, 2017
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Responses


  • 7939
    I missed out on my maternal grandma and paternal grandpa when I was old enough to establish my own relationships with them. That left me with my maternal grandpa, who lived long distance but I called every Sunday like clockwork, and my paternal grandma, who I took grocery shopping every week. I don't regret being the one to step forward and maintain contact in the latter situations, but I do regret not being there for the others. If you're anything like me, and I think you are, you'll keep up your visits with your grandma and you won't regret it.
      September 2, 2017 2:12 AM MDT
    3

  • 7126
    This seems to be a pattern in the relationships you discuss here. You're the only one initiating. They don't seem to care. I do hope you have other relationships that are more satisfying.
      September 2, 2017 5:23 AM MDT
    2

  • 1138
    Yes, it truly is a pattern.. I'm kind, pleasant , give, and let many many things slide with friends or family over the years. they know this about me, and I think it's like 'oh It's M, it's fine..' with whatever behavior or lack of communication it is. :(  I actually now don't contact half my fam b/c I was only one to do so. My other friend I posted about here, I don't contact anymore. I'm just tired of it you know? I just wonder with my grandmother, to keep it up: my aunt says no, but I just don't know.... I go awhile in between visits b/c honestly I feel /sense she does not care. Wouldn't you EVER contact your own grandchild to talk to them, initiate anything?? Oh well.... I just want to drop my people pleasing habit. Ty for taking time to answer..
      September 2, 2017 6:26 PM MDT
    2