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Discussion » Questions » Human Behavior » Do you always want the ones you can't have and sh*t on the ones you can?
Benedict Arnold

Do you always want the ones you can't have and sh*t on the ones you can?

I've heard this saying before and it kinda rings true for me not that I treat anyone badly, but I've noticed that I kinda chase women that either treat me badly, are not interested or are not available.
I tend to want to please women so I try to win them over, but I think it's why I ended up in a bad marriage.
I need to pay more attention to the women who show interest in me because love shouldn't be such a challenge.

Do you or have you ever chased a person that couldn't care less and ignored the ones who showed interest?
How did it end up?




Posted - September 21, 2017
Tags : None

Responses


  • 46117
    That is called being totally insecure. 

    That is a form of self-hatred.  If they like you, they are not good enough to see that you suck.  Kind of that mentality.


    That is a rung below the "better-dealer" that trades off untill he reaches his ultimate goal of perfection.



    Trump's SECOND wife.  



    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at September 21, 2017 5:51 PM MDT
      September 21, 2017 11:54 AM MDT
    3

  • I guess it could come from insecurity.
    I was in an abusive relationship for a long time and I don't know whats good about me because my ex was not in love with me.
    So maybe I don't love myself enough to let someone else love me

    Hmm....thanks.
      September 21, 2017 12:23 PM MDT
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  • 7792
    Is sh***ing on people a thing? In any case, I'm not that vain and/or sick.
      September 21, 2017 12:10 PM MDT
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  • 17599
    No.  I've never been afflicted with that disorder. 
      September 21, 2017 12:14 PM MDT
    3

  • 7683
    This gif explains it I hope;))
      September 21, 2017 1:40 PM MDT
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  • 17599
    The grass tastes better on the other side of the fence.  That kind of thinking ruins lives.
      September 21, 2017 10:51 PM MDT
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  • 7683
    That is what I wanna convey! 
      September 21, 2017 10:54 PM MDT
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  • 7126
    Sounds like you need to pay more attention to building up your self esteem before jumping into another relationship.

    In terms of chasing people who are unavailable, any games like that ended in high school. And even then I couldn't stand games. Perhaps marriage at such a young age has left you in a state of arrested development.     
      September 21, 2017 3:04 PM MDT
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  • YES!!!
    You are exactly right.
    I got into that relationship at 21 years old and my whole world revolved around her and now that she's gone I don't know who I am other than a dad and in my mind it's still basically 2001 because that's the last time I was my own person.
    I am in a state if arrested development for sure.
    Thanks. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at September 21, 2017 5:52 PM MDT
      September 21, 2017 3:12 PM MDT
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  • 7126
    I really hope you take some time to work on yourself before entering into another relationship. The chances of having a successful relationship will be much higher if you come into it as a healthy, confident, whole person. Otherwise you'll keep living out the same problems over and over with different partners because you haven't taken the time to solve them.     
      September 21, 2017 3:22 PM MDT
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  • Thank you.
    I've got some rebuilding to do.
    I don't think I want the same relationship again, I want a better one so I have to figure out how much of the problem is the type of women I chase and how much of the problem is me and what mistakes did I make in that relationship.
    Hopefully if I can find the right woman next time and also try to learn from my past because once we had a child I really focused on him and work and she was jealous at times, she even said so.
    I used to live for her and then our son became my focus.
    That's funny huh because usually it's the other way around.
    Men feel neglected after a child is born, but I took care of our son mostly after he was 2 year old and she went back to work too.
    Plus, I started going online once our son was asleep and she started texting other guys and it all fell apart.

    So we live and learn I guess?


    This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at September 21, 2017 5:52 PM MDT
      September 21, 2017 3:54 PM MDT
    2

  • 7126
    If we're paying attention and act accordingly.
      September 21, 2017 5:19 PM MDT
    2