Discussion»Questions»Human Behavior» Is forgiveness endless? If you keep forgiving people aren't you encouraging them to continue hurting you? Where/when does forgiveness end?
Forgiveness means to give up feeling hurt or angry about what was done to you. It 's something you do for yourself, not for the other person. You don't have to let them keep doing what they're doing or continue to put yourself in a position to be hurt in order to forgive.
I can forgive anybody. Forgiving them doesn't mean I enable them to continue hurting me. I can very well forgive and move on without the person who I forgave.
Thank you for your reply SA. Once burned twice shy. If someone lies to me I never forget that I cannot trust him/her to tell the truth. Similarly if someone purposely harms me I don't forget. I avoid and move on. I am of an age when I have the luxury of choosing with whom I engage. I am beholden to no one. Well Jim of course but he has never lied to or purposely harmed me. His track record is excellent! Happy Sunday! :)
Jesus said that if we do not forgive, then we will not receive forgiveness from the Heavenly Father. He went on to say that the extent of forgiving trespasses should be seventy times seven.
There is a difference between forgiving and setting a boundary.
Forgiveness benefits the one who forgives. When we hang on to anger or grudges it poisons us from the inside and makes it impossible to heal the relationship.
But forgiving is not condoning.
It remains the responsibility of the offender to repair all damage whenever possible, and to develop more constructive and beneficial ways of behaving, speaking etc. This is something no one else can force or control. So the only option if someone consistently causes harm is to have nothing to do with them.
Thank you for your thoughtful and helpful reply Zenobia. Here's how I feel. If someone lies to you what guarantee do you have he/she won't lie again? So I never forget I was lied to and I don't trust that person. Same with those who hurt you. If they did it once there is no guarantee it won't keep happening. Now I'm not talking about accidental/incidental hurt. We all do that just because we are imperfect human beings. I'm talking about premeditated /planned/purposeful. So I distance myself and I do not give that person another crack sat me. Once burned twice shy. I harbor no ill will. I do not believe in revenge or retaliation because that harms the person engaged in it. I just avoid and move on. Happy Sunday m'dear! :)
SA (SuperA) 