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Harry

When did relationships get so complicated?

Okay, so I am well aware that as we get older we all have a certain amount of baggage.  But, holy crap!  New "relationships" should be fun, not work and the other person should certainly not be annoying af.   I had one foot out the door immediately after the first time.  Okay,  I'll admit it, I went back for a bonus round a couple of days later because I knew he had something else planned for the evening so it would be a quickie and I wouldn't be trapped talking to him too long.   

Do you have any terrible relationship stories that will soothe my soul and make me not feel so alone in my abhorrent behavior? 

 

Posted - October 20, 2017
Tags : Complaining annoying af drama queen anger management needed weird questions

Responses


  • Lol :) I have so much to say here right now ... but I know I would be over sharing and I'd have to delete it tommorow for my own peace of mind. Yadda yadda yadda .... hip hip<---- the hip hip part makes sense for me. 

    https://youtu.be/erG5rgNYSdk
      October 20, 2017 3:48 PM MDT
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  • 6124
    You do realize, at some point, you're going to have to tell me so I don't feel like a complete sh*t heel.   
      October 20, 2017 3:52 PM MDT
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  • My internet keeps fooking up :) I'll tell you ... I took your advice and gave that one I liked a lot this summer a second chance. That's working out well ;) hip hip :)
      October 20, 2017 4:01 PM MDT
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  • 6124
    I'm very glad it's going well. :-)  
      October 20, 2017 4:31 PM MDT
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  • well it's not now :) but THANKS A LOT! ;)
      October 20, 2017 4:37 PM MDT
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  • 6124
    LOL!  I'm really high.  Stop confusing me.  Is it going well or not? lol.
      October 20, 2017 4:47 PM MDT
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  • It's going in a big circle!!! It goes well on weekends he doesn't have his kids ... and then when he does he thinks I'm out or hanging with or talking other dudes ... lol i should give him link to this site ...I do nothing!!!  yeah nah ... I don't want anything do with the kids and we agreed to that for now. But all this whst am I doing shizzat can stop now. 
      October 20, 2017 4:53 PM MDT
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  • 6124
    Gotcha.  I know exactly what you're talking about.  For me, there's nothing worse than an insecure man.  That's what I am/was dealing with now.  It's why I shut it down.
      October 20, 2017 5:02 PM MDT
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  • Is annoying as faaak :) my friends keep tell Me I push all the nice guys away ... I do not. I just get annoyed by the pussies... is a difference. I believe there's a difference.  
      October 20, 2017 5:41 PM MDT
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  • 6124
    LOL!  I know EXACTLY what you mean.  I feel like the man in this "relationship."
      October 23, 2017 6:47 PM MDT
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  • 7683
    Hi Harry...I dunno wat to say...I come from a country where marriages are arranged ..my relationship was arranged...I had just seen him in a bride seeing ceremony and our horoscopes matched and we were thrown into a room after the wedding knot was tied...two strangers not even seeing each other well...leave alone knowing each other....but it survived...that's how most relationships are made in India...I wish I was born in US maybe I could have experienced all this thrill...;))
      October 20, 2017 4:12 PM MDT
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  • 6124
    Honestly Veena, I think there's something to be said for arranged marriages.  I've worked with, & have had friends from India, that were all in arranged marriages.  All were happy.  Sometimes, I think it would be easier than trying to find that needle in a haystack.  I found one once.  I don't think I will find another one.  They're too rare. Or, I'm just too difficult to deal with.  Nah.  They're rare. lol.
      October 20, 2017 4:35 PM MDT
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  • 7280
    In think that one thing an arranged marriage has going for it is that people raised in such a culture have expectations that the marriage is to work out as a result---and since everything has been vetted for the two people, they perhaps unconsciously or consciously know that whether it works is up to them and there is no excuse like, "We just drifted apart."

    I think the USA approach is "If it doesn't work out, I'll just get divorced and try again."

    I realize those two strokes are painted with a very broad brush, but they're sufficiently accurate for this thread.

    It's generally assumed that two normal (broadly speaking) are capable of entering into and having a successful marriage if they are willing to do the work necessary when needed.

    I think the problem is that too many people prefer to start over rather than work on what they have.
      October 20, 2017 4:45 PM MDT
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  • 7683
    Umm Harry...yes arranged marriages are quite successful...and the extended family always hops in when it shows signs of weakening. You are right, it is like finding a needle in the hay stack...and parents do all the toil...we just reap their....harvest...ha ha that sounds so stupid.....;)) Yes. You were lucky with one...another 'the right one' will come along soon...you just wait awhile dear;))
      October 20, 2017 4:46 PM MDT
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  • All relationships are complicated, and always have been.
    It starts with the simplest thing, difference.
    Although all of us have roughly the same needs, 
    at different times we need more or less of something specific.
    When that need is not met we feel less than happy.
    How we go about trying to get that need met is where the trouble starts.
    Our culture does not teach good communication skills; rather it teaches and exemplifies all the worst methods.
    To learn better communication try Marshall Rosenberg's Non-Violent Communication - available free on U-Tube.

    When it comes to baggage, if people haven't done much personal development,
    the burdens get heavier and harder to handle as life's wounds and scars accumulate.

    There are relationship styles: interdependent, dependent, co-dependent, independent, and avoidant.
    The interdependent style is the best one for creating long-term successful relationships. Each supports the other without compromising the self and its needs for personal growth. Harville Hendrix writes about this in very useful ways. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at October 23, 2017 6:48 PM MDT
      October 20, 2017 6:21 PM MDT
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