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Discussion » Questions » Humor and Jokes » Per Veena, I ask deep questions. So, here's another one
Harry

Per Veena, I ask deep questions. So, here's another one

If I murdered 4 people (for arguments sake, let's say it's my neighbors who appear to be perfect and have lots of friends), how deep a grave should I be digging?  I only want to dig one large grave so, for 4 bodies to fit comfortably and, allowing for frost heaves (cold weather issue), how deep should I go to ensure no one ever discovers it? 

 

Posted - October 29, 2017
Tags : shallow morbid idiot

Responses


  • 5808
         Save all that energy from digging
    too much work,
    They will get you in the end,
    Karma you know...
         So don't waste your time,
    Go surrender/confess to your lawyer,
    tell him where the bodies are,
    and go spend the rest of your free time
    doing something you really enjoy,
    for the last time,
    cause you got to do your time
         there is no escape
     Resistance is fruitless
    You will be assimilated...

      October 29, 2017 11:23 AM MDT
    3

  • 6124
    Baba!  I can't do that!  What a terrible life I will have if I confess.  You're right.  I will be assimilated, and then made into Bertha's new plaything in the communal showers.  Ugh. No thanks.  I'm way too into men to do that.    
      October 29, 2017 11:59 AM MDT
    1

  • Just prop them up on your lawn like scarecrows, as a warning to your new neighbours to not walk around looking so freakin' perfect and happy all the time. I don't do "deep" answers.
      October 29, 2017 11:39 AM MDT
    2

  • 6124
    I'll have to cover their heads or they'll be recognized.  I also think the stench of rotting flesh might be a give away though.  My neighbors on the other side are very nosy and will more than likely notice if the wind blows in their direction.  But, thanks for trying to help me.  I'm thinking I might be able to get away with 10 or 12 feet down if I stack them on top of each other and pour a lot of lime over their bodies.  I'll just bury them in the middle of the woods where I know no one goes.
      October 29, 2017 12:05 PM MDT
    2

  • Meh , I'm still trying to figure out what you murdering  your neighbours has to do with Veena:)
      October 29, 2017 5:28 PM MDT
    2

  • 6124
    She said I was deep and my questions are deep.  https://answermug.com/forums/topic/42171/are-there-times-when-you-wanna-ask-a-sensitive-q-but-stop-yourse/view/post_id/379344

    Did I misunderstand something? ;-)
      October 29, 2017 5:32 PM MDT
    2

  • Lol :) I see, she must be referring to that poop question you posted a few  months ago ... I still haven't forgive you for that one ;)
      October 29, 2017 5:35 PM MDT
    2

  • 6124
    Hey, you can't get any deeper than poop!
      October 29, 2017 5:37 PM MDT
    2

  • Lol true:) and I remember thinking to myself that night.. it's Friday night, and I'm spending it on a Q&A site zooming in on a pic of poop and trying to guess what animal it came from.. wtf has happened to my life?  Lol that's deep ;)
      October 29, 2017 5:41 PM MDT
    2

  • 6124
    See?  Even you noticed it.  Poop always inspires deep thoughts. ;-)
      October 29, 2017 5:44 PM MDT
    2

  • ummmmm.... sure ;)
      October 29, 2017 5:46 PM MDT
    2

  • 7683
    LOL Jamie...;))
      October 29, 2017 6:36 PM MDT
    2

  • lol :) she didn't want to take my brillant advice.. so I  yelled at her for crap question ;) please stop encouraging her ;)
      October 29, 2017 6:38 PM MDT
    2

  • 7683
    LOL Jamie....look at how all took the meaning of deep literally...I'm still giggling;))
      October 29, 2017 6:44 PM MDT
    2

  • Haha :) good ... at least there's still a few people left on here that come for the laughs..;) we are a dying breed on here :/ 
      October 29, 2017 6:47 PM MDT
    1

  • 7683
    True Jamie...so true....!
      October 29, 2017 6:51 PM MDT
    2

  • 5354
    I would recommend digging to a depth of 6 feet (same as in graveyards). then after you fill up the hole with dirt, there is enough dirt on top of them to prevent the stink of rotting bodies to alert the police to what you did.

    Placing the dirt on a tarpaulin is highly recommende to avoid leaving a layer of miscolored dirt on the grass. and make sure all the dirt you dug up is put back on the grave. stomp well and often as you fill the grave back in, this still leaves a bulge of earth, but the bodied decompose to practically nothing in short order, then the bulge settles.
      October 29, 2017 12:44 PM MDT
    2

  • 6124
    Jakob, you don't sound like a novice at this.  I love that about you!  Thanks for all the great advice.  I will follow your directions to a "t." :-)
      October 29, 2017 4:00 PM MDT
    2

  • 7280
    Since you are probably not using a vault over the bodies---or even a casket---I would go 6 feet or more (some grave depths are 12 feet).  To accommodate all 4 bodies at the same level, I would recommend the grave be about 10 feet wide (4 bodies x 30 inches) and about 7 feet long. 

    As an added precaution against discovery, fashion a berm of dirt above the graves and plant flowers. (The size of the grave is a perfect size for a small berm.)  As the bodies decompose, the berm will obscure the sinkhole that develops when a vault is not used.

    Since berms tend to erode over time anyway, the grave site will be categorized as a lawn design started in a burst of enthusiasm and subsequently abandoned. 


      October 29, 2017 1:38 PM MDT
    2

  • 6124
    Tom this is perfect!  I thought Jakob's was spot on but, it appears you have EVEN MORE experience than Jakob!  Fantastic.  Now I know why Jaimie wants to steal you away from your wife.  ;-)
      October 29, 2017 4:03 PM MDT
    2

  • 22891
    i wouldnt do that cause then you might be digging your own grave
      October 29, 2017 2:42 PM MDT
    1

  • 6124
    Nah Pearl.  That's only in the movies.   Umm, I think. :/
      October 29, 2017 4:04 PM MDT
    1

  • 5354
    So very deep ;-))
      October 29, 2017 3:57 PM MDT
    2

  • 6124
    I'm in love with the creepy side of you Jakob! ;-)
      October 29, 2017 4:11 PM MDT
    2