Discussion » Questions » Language » "I will love you forever". Oh c'mon! How long is forever? You don't know what will happen futurely or whom you will become. Right?
RosieG

"I will love you forever". Oh c'mon! How long is forever? You don't know what will happen futurely or whom you will become. Right?

How can you GUARANTEE today whom you will be tomorrow? You can't. How many times have you thought you found the "right" person but you found you hadn't and had to move on? We say things we mean at the moment but cannot possibly ever guarantee. Why do we keep insisting on guaranteeing anything whether it be a love or a platonic relationship when we know better?

Posted - November 11, 2017
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Responses


  • I think we say it because it's romantic and sometimes you meet someone and you look at who they are and you just feel like no matter what happens part of me will always love you.
      November 11, 2017 9:52 AM MST
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  • 113301
    I know Truth seeker but we all KNOW BETTER.  You change. Others change. Sometimes you wonder what  you ever saw in the person. Sometimes the person betrays you. They are really toothless words that only cover the present moment. Just like "..and they lived happily ever after". Well some do of course but mostly? I think people change partners all the time and friends come and go and that's just the way it is. Thank you for your reply and Happy Sunday! :)
      November 12, 2017 2:00 AM MST
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  • 7939
    Hmm... at the same time, we don't know who the other person will become. I think that's a bigger sticking point. 

    I don't say "forever" outside of blood relationships anymore. Your family, whether you love them or hate them, will always be a part of who you are. That's one of the things I constantly try to remind my kids of- "Be kind to your siblings. Relationships may come and go, but your siblings will always be a part of your life."

    I'm definitely not a romantic- people will come and go. All you can do is do your best by them as you pass through life. The more you live with integrity, kindness, and honor, the more likely people will stick around, but even then, you have no control over which paths they choose. That's ok. People need to grow and develop in their own ways on their own timetable. 

    But, I agree with TS as well. I think those who say "forever" truly mean it when they say it. I think they want to believe it's true. It's much harder to accept that we're alone on our paths. Some of us need that "guarantee" that others will be there for us. That's ok too, but of course, it rarely ever is so.
      November 11, 2017 1:25 PM MST
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  • Yeah, but I also think that you can love someone even if they don't stay with you or if you can't be with them.
    If I decide that I love someone and I will forever regardless of what they do, that's complete unconditional love that I carry with me and I get to control that. LoL. 
    I can love people whether they like it or not. : )

    So there, now what?
      November 11, 2017 7:57 PM MST
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  • 7939
    Eh, give it time. I agree you can love people who come and go, but I don't think it's truly unconditional. When people cause you harm, especially intentionally, the love fades, and it should. You may still care about them from a humanistic standpoint, but the love is not the same.
      November 11, 2017 10:56 PM MST
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  • I agree that I don't have to love people that hurt or take advantage of me even though if anything ever happened to my ex wife I probably would cry.
    I'm talking more about people I know that I love who haven't hurt me.

    I know that people come and go, I'm used to that but I still feel like some people I will love forever.


      November 12, 2017 6:52 AM MST
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  • 113301
    People change partners all their lives. Friends come and go. As for families they are often estranged in later life so you really don't have them either. Life is mostly lived in solitude. We're lucky if we have anyone who takes the entire journey with us. Thank you for your thoughtful reply JA and Happy Sunday! :)
      November 12, 2017 2:03 AM MST
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  • 7280
    Love is something we promise to do to the person to whom we say that.  The feelings we normally associate with "romantic" love wax and wane.  I have fallen "in love" and "out of love" many many times over the 36 years my wife and I have been married---and I suspect she has had a similar experience, feelings wise. And the "in love" always happens more frequently than the "out of love" does.

    But we have always loved each other (Love involves care for, respect for, responsibility to, and knowledge of the person.)  And I can say that because in our marriage vows we did say "until death to us part" with the knowledge that we were capable of and intending to bind our transcendental selves---what we were, what we are, and what we shall be to each other.

    And while the unconditional love of a mother and the conditional love of a father are required to properly raise a child (basic child psychology), now that our sons are 35, 47, and 52 I have been able to relinquish the unconditional love and go with what was always always there---the unconditional love that allowed me to display the conditional love that was necessary at the time.  I now can love my children unconditionally---forever (a word restricted to our concept of time).  
     
      November 11, 2017 1:44 PM MST
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  • 113301
    Thank you for a very thoughtful analysis in response to my question tom. Here's the thing. People change partners all their lives. Friends come and go. And families can become estranged so you don't really "have" them. Can you love someone from whom you are estranged? I expect so. But that love is certainly of a different texture/aroma/flavor. Unless you are a doormat how you are treated by those you love matters. At least it does to me. We are all alone on life's journey but sometimes we get lucky and another person walks besides us through to the end. We aren't always all that lucky. Happy Sunday m'dear! :)
      November 12, 2017 2:07 AM MST
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  • 22891
    forever is too long
      November 11, 2017 3:52 PM MST
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  • 6098
    Well sounds good to me, works for me.  It bespeaks the kind of security I think most of us seek.  People are not perfect nor, as you say, can they predict what is to come.  We can either bitterly reject it as a falsehood or accept it for what it actually is - a simple expression of strong affection. 
      November 12, 2017 8:00 AM MST
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