Have you ever tried to wean Just Asking off of coffee by offering her water to drink? (Don't bother, it's a waste of time.)

Why would I bother?  She'd only turn around and try to get me to give it up. :-D

No, I would never do that. Drinking coffee makes a person smart, charming, compassionate and less pedantic. Can I offer you a cup?

We secretly switched out her usual brand for Folgers decaf.

Let's see if she notices.

On second thought, I don't think a few cups of coffee would even make a dent in your issues.

Nope

HAAAA hAAAAAAAAA

That is the best picture ever.  LOLOL

She'd better be drinking water too.  I don't want to think of those kidneys failing if she dispenses with the water.