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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » Someone compliments you on what you're wearing and you say "this old thing? I've had it for years." Why would anyone say that?

Someone compliments you on what you're wearing and you say "this old thing? I've had it for years." Why would anyone say that?

It's a definite insult to the person who just complimented you. It's a putdown. Yet people do say stuff like that. What is the purpose of slapping the hand of someone who just reached out to you in a very nice way? I don't get it. Do you?

Posted - January 11, 2018

Responses


  • 1340
    In my opinion such a response is not necessarily dismissive of the compliment, let alone insulting to the observer, but rather intended to deflect the positive remark from the subject. It becomes, in a way, a matter of humility--of the person in question not self-gratifying. Yet the semblance of humility can also be very false, so indeed much of it is in the tone.

    I think it's a cultural issue as well: in the West I've heard that the only proper response to a compliment is (a take on) "thank you;" in other parts of the world, such blatant acceptance of a compliment may have a bigger chance of coming across as pretentious.
      January 11, 2018 5:47 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Wow! Well I give sincere compliments and receiving a "thank you" or "oh that is so kind of you to say" warms my heart and makes my day. To get an  "oh this old thing? I've had it for a years" causes me great regret for opening my mouth. It is very dismissive of my words and I think quite pretentious on the part of the recipient. I make it a point to NEVER AGAIN compliment that person because I think it is boorish in the extreme to respond to a compliment with something so rude as that. Different strokes DG. That's just me Words mean a lot to me.  The ones I choose to use I choose with great care and the ones I hear from others I listen to very carefully. Thank you for your thoughtful reply and Happy Thursday to thee! :)
      January 11, 2018 6:01 AM MST
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  • 1340
    Words are meaningful but it is arguably even more important to include, in one's interpretation, cultural context and specific manner of speech. That's why I generally prefer talking with people face to face--having only the voice to go by already limits communication, not to mention when both tone and non-verbal expression are taken out of the equation.

    Thank you, Rosie, and Happy Thursday to thee too!
      January 11, 2018 11:04 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Of course what you see in person gives you more dimensions/levels. Also people give off "VIBES" in person that are mitigated when you just read words on a screen. BUT words stand alone on their own as well. For the racist donjohn referring to Haiti, El Salvador and Africa as "SH**THOLE COUNTRIES" doesn't require you to see him and read his face. It's a disgrace on it's own. This is what goes on behind closed doors, under rocks, in the scum of a pond. SIGH. Deliver us from evil. On whom can we count for that? I'm gonna ask. Thank you for your reply Danilo G and Happy Saturday to thee! :)
      January 13, 2018 5:35 AM MST
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  • 5354
    For me to buy clothing is a very rare thing. It is simply true.
      January 11, 2018 11:08 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Why do I have to know that JakobA? What business is it of mine or interest if what I compliment is brand new or 30 years old? It has absolutely no bearing on anything in my opinion. It is simply true too. Now the question is do you want to be gracious and say "thank you" or make the person feel very small? That's the choice you have. You've heard of TMI, right? Don't indulge in TMI if it's going to hurt someone needlessly. My opinion. Thank you for you r reply and Happy Saturday! :) This post was edited by RosieG at January 13, 2018 5:39 AM MST
      January 13, 2018 5:38 AM MST
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