Which parent? My mother went crazy then died in a car accident when I was 15. My father didn't give a doo doo whether I lived or died, even after my mother was gone.
Mother - negligence - semi-comatose in bed with alcohol 50% from when I was 4 to 14. Father - incest when mother was drunk.
This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at January 27, 2018 9:13 PM MST
You know, I know they did things that hurt me really badly, but all that matters to me is what I may have done to hurt them. For that, I am truly, deeply sorry and I would embrace any hurt they flung my way if it could erase any of the many times I was so thoughtless when it came to showing appreciation for two amazing humans. Thank you, God, for both of them.
My mother was a neglectful alcoholic. I can't tie it down to any one incident. She had a trail of poor decisions. I find her behavior less hurtful as an adult because I'm pretty sure she suffered some kind of mental illness and was incapable of being a good mother. I think she did the best she could, given her limitations.
My father, on the other hand, was an angry and abusive alcoholic. Lots of stories there too, but the most hurtful thing he ever did was kick me out when I was a pre-teen. He took my house key, told me to get out, and sent me to the city streets with nothing. The events that transpired after that changed my life forever, and have deeply impacted decisions I've made and relationships I've had. I think, literally, my whole life would have been different if he had made any other decision that night.
Well my situation is certainly not as sad as some of the others, but it hurt me nonetheless.
I had to struggle financially to finish cosmetology school..My dad had taken an insurance policy out for me when I was born (DUMB, but it was a different time!!!)
anyway, he asked me if I wanted the money for something or just leave it in the bank........(again, dumb, but as i said, different time!)
I told him it'd be great if I could have it for cosmetology school.....I worked and then went to school then ran out of money.
welllll
he said NO.......HUH? I said why not make it a loan, then, & I'd sign a note even, & pay simple interest..........still NO.
I was furious and told him he could just keep the damn money & when I died, bury me with it.
that was the only thing I could think of to say, as I was so angry with him.
WELLLLLLLL I saved up enough to finish cosmetology school, passed my State Board, then went to show him the license.
He took one look at it and said............"well, maybe someday that and a dime will get you a cup of coffee" ??????????????????????
hmmmm I thought well maybe now he'll say something nice...........NOPE.........end of discussion.
I thought maybe he'd congratulate me, or ask if I had a job lined up, so on & so forth.
but not my father!!!!!!
so, as I said, this is not extreme for many, to me it was sickening.....
anyway, years laterI saw him 12 hours before he passed away he was in a nursing home, very small one and in the countryside, which he loved......it was very sad as he could not speak.......when he saw me he kept blinking his eyes very rapidly, like he was trying to express something...I held his hand and didn't know what to say!!!! it was heartbreaking!!!
12 hours later my niece, who was with him when he passed, called and told me he was gone.
Randy D 