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Randy D
Discussion » Questions » Outside the Mug » Hypothetical: there are only two jobs you can work, cleaning up after one elephant for a year, or cleaning up after 100 chickens for a year.
Randy D

Hypothetical: there are only two jobs you can work, cleaning up after one elephant for a year, or cleaning up after 100 chickens for a year.



Each job pays the same, but the elephant job requires you to sleep in a tent next to the elephant at night, you must eat all of your meals just after cleaning up the pen, and you must tend to the elephant for a minimum of ten hours daily, six days a week. You are equipped with all the tools, equipment and job-related clothing needed to succeed. 

The chicken job calls for you to use only your bare hands, no gloves, tools or equipment are allowed. Regulations have you at work seven hours a day for four and a half days a week, and when you're not there, no one else cleans up after the chickens. The clothespin on your nose is supplied by your employer, as well as hand-washing soap. 

~

Posted - March 3, 2018
Tags : None

Responses


  • 5354
    Thou art wierd.
      March 3, 2018 9:43 AM MST
    2

  • 53509
    Lol!
    ~
      March 3, 2018 11:33 AM MST
    2

  • I choose the chickens because I can put the poop to good use. heh heh
      March 3, 2018 10:03 AM MST
    1

  • 53509


     (Have you ever smelled it?)

    :[
      March 3, 2018 11:33 AM MST
    2

  • In my mid-20s I caught chickens for Tyson in Arkansas.  It smells better than the ammonia in the chicken-houses.
      March 3, 2018 1:28 PM MST
    1

  • 5354
    And dont forget the chickenfeed. There is good eating in a handfull of chickenfeed, and you can carry it in your pocket. The elephants bales of hay contain very little food value and also makes you conspicious on the bus.
      March 5, 2018 2:07 AM MST
    2

  • What you been smokin'? xD
      March 5, 2018 5:27 AM MST
    0

  • 5391
    If those were the only two occupations I was qualified for, I’d probably just drink hemlock instead. 
      March 3, 2018 10:49 AM MST
    1

  • 14795
    I think you should just knuckle down and clean up after your own pets or relatives'.....:(
      March 3, 2018 12:19 PM MST
    1

  • 53509


      Apostrophe abuse, fifty demerits!
    ~
      March 3, 2018 1:48 PM MST
    1

  • 14795
    But it makes the word look more important and I ain't used up my quota of misstake's four ages now...:( 
      March 3, 2018 2:07 PM MST
    1

  • 53509




    Doctor: "It's your heart, Randolph. You're obviously putting yourself through a lot of unnecessary strain."

    Randy D: "But I do everything I can to stay healthy, I exercise, I eat right, I don't smoke or drink or take drugs."

    Doctor: "Then there must be be other issues that are causing you extreme stress."

    Randy D: "Well, there is this blonde from the U.K. who constantly baits me with grammar errors and typos . . . "

    Doctor: "Are you still on that grammar trip, Randolph? I thought you've been seeing that therapy group to get over that weird obsession. You have been going to the meetings, haven't you? I referred you there for a reason."

    Randy D: "I uh, er, that is to say, um, I . . . "

    Doctor: "Aha! Just as I suspected, you don't listen to me!"

    Randy D: "You don't understand, Doctor. I meant to go, I really did, but on my way to the first meeting, I heard that a new branch of The Tilde Emporium opened up just two blocks from there and I only wanted to browse. I ended up spending hours there. I go back every time I'm supposed to be at the meetings. I can't help it, Doc, I'm weak, I'm just too weak!"

    Doctor: (to himself) "I need a vacation, this guy is nuts!"




    ~ This post was edited by Randy D at March 3, 2018 5:41 PM MST
      March 3, 2018 3:55 PM MST
    2

  • 14795
    I think you should give up while you still have your sanity....my parent had to and they are realitivly happy now at last.....l

    Why torture your self when yo know youll never win...

    Im going to beg you now to give it up before insanity gets to grips with you...

    Deep down you know your up against a no brainer and none can win when up against that....:) D
      March 3, 2018 4:21 PM MST
    1

  • 5354
    A bit late for that innit
      March 3, 2018 6:00 PM MST
    1

  • 2052
    I'd take the Elephant.  I Love elephants, I love chickens as well but Elephants take a special kind of understanding and commitment.  
      March 3, 2018 6:21 PM MST
    0

  • 17596
    The chickens.  Oops.  I didn't realize I had to close the gate.
      March 4, 2018 4:28 PM MST
    2

  • 53509


      Hey, where did all those chickens go?  Who left the gate open?  Somebody find me that new lady we just hired!  Grrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    ~



    This post was edited by Randy D at March 5, 2018 12:58 AM MST
      March 4, 2018 5:19 PM MST
    2

  • 2052
    Randy, FYI:  I had to use an actual real life tilde in the normal course of life today.  Impressed?
      March 4, 2018 5:22 PM MST
    1

  • 53509


      Excuse me, but do you have a license to brandish a tilde?  Is it registered?  Have you received the proper training from a certified facility?  Hold on, let me run your information through the system.  Don't leave town with checking with us first.


    Detective Randall D,
    Grammar Police Force



    ~
    This post was edited by Randy D at March 5, 2018 5:34 AM MST
      March 4, 2018 5:38 PM MST
    0

  • 34283
    Elephant. 
    That many chickens is just nasty. Even with tools. Still nasty.
      March 4, 2018 7:20 PM MST
    1