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Discussion » Questions » Relationships » How might you react in the situation depicted below?

How might you react in the situation depicted below?

 
  Hypothetically, you've lived in your neighborhood for 10 years or more and you're on polite speaking terms with a married couple two or three doors from your place. They already lived in the neighborhood when you arrived. Other than being on a first-name basis and saying hello to each other on passing, you only occasionally socialize with them both or visit each other's houses.  You are closer to the spouse who is of your gender, and the two of you often make small talk. 
  One day about three months ago, you happened to notice that one of them, either the husband or the wife, receives a visitor of the opposite gender without the presence of the other spouse. Just seeing it in passing means nothing, but over the next few weeks, it continues to occur: the exact same visitor stops by about once every week, and never when the other spouse is home. Now that it's become more noticeable to you, it catches your eye even more every time it happens. 
  Gradually, the visits increase in frequency, to twice or twice a week. You have seen the other spouse leave for work and the visitor show up within the next thirty minutes. The visitor's car is usually parked at least half a block from their house, never in front of it. There is even a time period where the other spouse is out of town for a few days, during which time the visitor's car is parked on the street directly outside their house until very late into one evening, and two days later, it's parked there when you retire for the night and it's still in the same spot when you leave for work the next day.
  Last straw: a day ago, as you're arrived home, you see the visitor and your neighbor just outside the house hidden away in a secluded corner where they don't appear to suspect they can be seen. They are in a deep embrace and romantically kissing each other. You only see them doing this for a brief few seconds before they stop kissing, break the hug and look around nervously.  A moment later as you exit your car in your driveway, you see the visitor scurry from the house and drive away.

  DILEMMA: the neighbor with whom you share small talk approaches you later and with a depressed, downtrodden expression, asks you, "Listen, have you noticed anything suspicious going on around my house over the past couple of weeks when I'm not home?"

~

Posted - May 5, 2018

Responses


  • 2327
    I would answer his question: "yes, I've seen a male visitor at your house on a number of occasions. On his last visit, I witnessed him and your wife  embracing romantically. I'm so sorry. Would you like to come inside for a drink? I'm here to listen if you need me. 


      May 5, 2018 7:42 PM MDT
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  • 17583
    Hear hear!!!!!!!!!!!  This is my answer too.  I didn't think anyone other than me would do this.
      May 6, 2018 2:52 PM MDT
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  • 2327
    Yep. The truth is very brutal! But I'm just too honest to lie, and he deserves honesty. 
      May 6, 2018 8:09 PM MDT
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  • 7280
    Is your wife's identical twin sister visiting her?
      May 5, 2018 7:46 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    My motto in such circumstances is "I wouldn't pry, but I wouldn't lie". 
      May 5, 2018 8:10 PM MDT
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  • 53490

      So how would you answer, specifically?  Would you include everything you had noticed all the way back to six months previously?
    ~
      May 5, 2018 8:14 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    Six months? You said it was 3 months. 

    I think I'd not specify a time time frame unless asked specifically, but I'd say that I noticed a car and that I'd seen the spouse kissing the driver the day before. 

    I'd hope that the neighbor would understand that I didn't see it as my place to get involved. If it were a closer friendship, my motto isn't the same at all. 
      May 5, 2018 8:28 PM MDT
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  • 53490


      Thank you, you're right; it was three months. Thank you for your answer overall. 

    :)
      May 5, 2018 8:29 PM MDT
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  • 10052
    You're welcome. :)
      May 5, 2018 8:33 PM MDT
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  • 19937
    Well, technically, what you saw was someone coming and going from the neighbor's house.  Suspicious would be someone appearing to be casing the house.  As for seeing them in an embrace and kissing, nothing suspicious there - you know exactly what they were doing.
      May 5, 2018 9:59 PM MDT
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  • 5354
    Stop prying into your neighbours life. Obsessing about tildes is harmless in comparison, this could get you shot.
      May 5, 2018 11:22 PM MDT
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  • 53490
    (neighbor's life)

    I'm not prying, and it's not my neighbor's life; look up the word "hypothetical".

    --
      May 5, 2018 11:30 PM MDT
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  • 5354
    Hypothetically you are a stalker, stalking your neighbours.
      May 5, 2018 11:45 PM MDT
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  • 8211
    Stay out of it and quit spying on her. 
      May 6, 2018 6:32 AM MDT
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  • 13071
    I would leave them alone unless you catch one of them committing a grammatical error  
      May 6, 2018 7:11 AM MDT
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  • 44583
    Have you been spying on me again?

    Tough question. I usually mind my own business, but if I were asked, I would have to say something.
      May 6, 2018 7:41 AM MDT
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  • 53490

      In the scenario, you have been asked. 
    ~
      May 6, 2018 9:03 AM MDT
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  • 44583
    I would spill the beans just to see him/her quiver with anger.
      May 6, 2018 1:22 PM MDT
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  • 5391
    I’d tell them: “Nope. I haven’t seen anything unusual”.
    It would not be an untrue statement.

    Think about this for a second: if this “visitor” has been returning as frequently as you describe, then it isn’t an “unusual” occurance anymore, right? 

    More than that, I don’t wish to involve myself in other peoples’ domestic matters, I don’t spy on them, and I expect the same from others. That’s a dangerous path to a courtroom, or to the business end of gunfire. This post was edited by Don Barzini at May 6, 2018 1:22 PM MDT
      May 6, 2018 8:56 AM MDT
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  • 22891
    i would just stay out of it, its none of my business
      May 6, 2018 4:41 PM MDT
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