I can't see those as mutually exclusive. Seems to presume that somehow couples should spend their time unloading on each other rather than enjoying their time with each other. And that the keeping of secrets is a great and grand privilege that everyone is after. What we are is in large part a total of all our experiences anyway so on that level there are no secrets. If we feel uncomfortable talking about some things we have done then why should we? No reason we should penalize ourselves or others for living. Is enough just to find someone else you like and click with without having to spill your guts all over the place.
