Active Now

Shuhak
my2cents
Discussion » Questions » Relationships » What are some signs that a person is no longer in love with you?

What are some signs that a person is no longer in love with you?

Posted - June 26, 2018

Responses


  • 10026
    Sooooo many things to say... Soooooo little boundary.
    It depends on your age, your placement in your life (and theirs), your belief in what "Love" means and how you stand on what a "clue" is.

    I can say this, regardless of age, time, and status.
    You can feel it in your heart. 
    You will know. You will know the signs that are important to you.  What might be important to me, doesn't hold water to you.  For example:  I have been happily married for 28 years.  If Don stopped calling me at 11:11 that would mean something to me. 

    It is a very personal thing about love.  Only you can decide when YOU "fall out of love" with them.  It takes two. 

    Sorry Summer.  I Love your questions and think you are very bright. Big smiles.  But,  no one can answer this question, honestly and have it mean the same thing.
    Hugs and Loves,
    Merlin :) :) This post was edited by Merlin at June 26, 2018 5:28 PM MDT
      June 26, 2018 2:29 PM MDT
    4

  • 666
    I hear you.
    You said that if he stopped calling at a certain time.
    I agree.
    I've noticed when a woman doesn't call me as much or make plans for us anymore.
    I think that's a big sign that she may not be feeling as strongly as she once did.
    Thanks. : )

    This post was edited by Summer at June 26, 2018 9:08 PM MDT
      June 26, 2018 2:36 PM MDT
    4

  • 10026
    You're welcome Summer.  Also, you know it takes two.  The trials and tribulations of being in a relationship and the euphoric feeling loves brings us all is something created by two.
    You will feel it in your heart when your love is not reciprocated.  
    Being "in love" with someone and being "loved by someone" is also different.
    Being in a relationship with someone whom you loved and them moving on without you is very painful.
    You can decide if you both want to work through it or you both would like to move on without each other, physically and emotionally.
    It's not fair if one bails out without the other's consent.  That is a relationship drama we all like to avoid. Relationships of the heart are wonderful.  I am a product of that but there have been ups and downs.  It is a matter of growing together or apart.  A choice both have to make, together. :) :)
      June 26, 2018 2:47 PM MDT
    4

  • 10026
    It's all a give and take, Summer.  Like your heart does biologically.  It gives your muscles and body oxygen to survive and your body takes it.  Your body then brings back the blood to be re-oxygenated and do it all over again.  Your body grows into an adult and emotions become a factor....
    See?  My dear, it is all a growing and wonderful thing... together... from the heart.. 
    Big smiles and hugs!
      June 26, 2018 2:51 PM MDT
    3

  • 666
    Thank you.
    I was curious about the difference between being "In love" with someone and being "Loved" by someone.
    You had mentioned it.
    It's intriguing if you care to go into further detail. This post was edited by Summer at June 26, 2018 5:29 PM MDT
      June 26, 2018 2:58 PM MDT
    3

  • 10026
    Thank you for asking.  I would like to. :)
    Love is a difficult thing to define. It has many levels and many meanings depending on how you are expressing it. The common denominator it shares, is emotion.
    I am in love with my mom, sister, dad, etc.  I also love element, carbon, ALF, Beans/SilentGeneration, Randy, JA, etc. I am in love with Don. I have loved vodka in the past but have turned my love to rum now-a-days.  Traitor, I am!  Big giggles!
    I'm just trying to lighten it up. Big smiles!
    Love is something you cannot hold onto, physically, like a vodka or rum bottle.  Love is something inside you.  It is an emotion.  You grow and learn and on your way you find somethings you "claimed" as your love, doesn't spark an interest.
    You OWN your emotions.  Love is a huge one.  Who or what you choose to share that part of you with is entirely up to you.  You can't make anyone do anything with their emotions.  If they want to dislike onions or my mom, they will.  I can show them sides of both that might entice them; but it is entirely up to them.  You may have loved someone in your past.  Today, they may not mean as much to you as they did or you may have turned entirely against them.  BUT, if you did open your emotion to them at some point in your life, you DID Feel something.  They played an important part of your love now.  Example:  Jason was my first experience with love outside my immediate family.  I was 16 and thought I knew all about love.  I DID.  I DID know all about love at that point in my life as did Jason.  Our plans and what we were to do with that experience and that emotion was great because we learned about physical and mental love.  We GREW.  We grew because we needed to, g r o w  a p a r t...
    We allowed ourselves the fascination, learning why we did, experiencing the sexual dynamics we tried, learned how to say,  "I love you," and mean it. I loved him. He still holds a special place in my heart.  One that is only his. He hold that "I loved him" stop forever in my heart.  I have no desire do go back to him or rock his world today.  Learning about love along the way is really a part of the love emotion and the dimensions it travels in. 
    Making love stay in one place is impossible.  It is a very liquid emotion.  
    Relationships with another being requires a love that is willing to work as one.  It really helps when it is balanced.
    Fascinated or infatuated with someone/thing is different, too.  You can be in love with the ocean or the mountains.  Chances are, they feel a love for you too, we just don't know exactly how to read it into our human relationship sort of love thing!  Big giggles!
    Summer, love is an emotion that grows as you experience all different sides of it.
    There are many and I hope you travel down many paths of love that bring you happiness and GIVE you LOVE back.
    Hugs and Loves,
    Merlin
      June 26, 2018 3:47 PM MDT
    2

  • 2658
    Lipstick On Your Collar by Connie Francis 1959.

    Love is like a roller coaster it has its ups and downs. This post was edited by Beans/SilentGeneration at June 26, 2018 8:25 PM MDT
      June 26, 2018 2:54 PM MDT
    5

  • 666
    Yes, that's definitely a not so subtle sign of infidelity.
    Thanks.

      June 26, 2018 3:02 PM MDT
    4

  • 53488

    (not-so-subtle)
      June 26, 2018 8:21 PM MDT
    2

  • 10026
    Beans, you crack me up!!!!!!  Huge Giggles and Smiles!!!!!!!!!!  So True!!!!
      June 26, 2018 3:07 PM MDT
    3

  • 2658
    Merlin, you're a person I consider a friend..even if not on a list.  If I had one I'd hope you would accept my friend's request.  I keep a few, like you, in the memory...  Take Care

      June 26, 2018 3:21 PM MDT
    2

  • 10026
    Beans, you ARE one of my friends.  In my heart and my thoughts.  Always!  In fact, even before I saw this, I included you in my example for Summer...
    I truly appreciate your presence and your being, more than I mention. 
    Big smiles and great vibes, always!  Love, Merlin :) :)
      June 26, 2018 3:57 PM MDT
    2

  • 2658
    BACKACHA!!!!  { }
      June 26, 2018 4:26 PM MDT
    2

  • Disinterest, distraction, seeking release from commitments, returning gifts, indifference, withdrawal from the slightest touch and so on. If you're lucky, they're doing you a favor by paving the way to someone that cares.
      June 26, 2018 3:14 PM MDT
    6

  • 13277
    What's the difference between disinterest and indifference?
      June 26, 2018 3:16 PM MDT
    3

  • It's a distinction without a difference, but at such a time, a minor point when your heart is being crushed.
      June 26, 2018 3:20 PM MDT
    5

  • 13277
    Not sure there is such an animal as a distinction without a difference, which would make distinction with a difference redundant, lol!
      June 26, 2018 6:53 PM MDT
    1

  • Depends on context.

    Indifference can mean being neutral, having neither positive nor negative feelings toward or about something.
    Or it can mean callousness.

    Interest has many meanings:
    the rate paid on a loan,
    those things which directly or indirectly affect a person's well-being,
    a passion, hobby, or passtime,
    curiousity, or desire to research, experiment, learn, invent or discover,
    or an attraction towards spending time with someone, wanting to know them and caring about their welfare.

    In the context of relationships, emotions are rarely neutral. "Indifference" can arise when resentment has built up over a long period of time, anger can overwhelm and outweigh love, and a callous lack of caring about the pain of the other can be a common result. 

    Disinterest in a relationship happens when the physical and emotional attraction has died. The person would rather be doing almost anything other than spending time with the partner, and know long cares what the other is feeling, thinking or doing.

      June 26, 2018 8:11 PM MDT
    3

  • 666
    Thank you for the information.
    I can relate to "Disinterest and distraction."
    Near the end of my marriage I would kiss my wife goodbye for the day and it had no feeling anymore.
    I opened my eyes and I could see that her eyes were open and she was looking off to the side as if she was thinking about a million other things.
    It was ultimately a good thing that it ended.
    It wasn't a healthy relationship anymore.

    This post was edited by Summer at June 26, 2018 5:30 PM MDT
      June 26, 2018 3:30 PM MDT
    2

  • 7280
    Summer, here's a few comments and a link that may help you with the concept.  If the comment is in italics, it is from the internet.  If it's not, it's from me.

    If you ask someone to describe what being in love feels like, they will describe something that sounds like sexual passion and desire tinged with obsession.

    Being in love with someone can stem from infatuation, possessiveness and obsession. You both talk, hold hands, hug kisses and develop surface feelings.

    Falling in love is (probably) based on a neurotransmitter storm. (And it's a part of romantic love---which may wax and wane over the course of a long term relationship.)

    Loving is a choice---an act that we choose to perform.  We care for the person, we respect the person, we respond to the person, and we come to know that person.

    A classic book on the subject is The Art of Loving by Erich Fromm.

    And if you are interested:  

    Signs that you are falling in love: https://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/love-11-scientific-signs-romance-relationships-attraction-a7944751.html
      June 26, 2018 3:35 PM MDT
    3

  • 666
    Thanks.
    I'm just more interested in the little signs that a person is perhaps falling out of love.
    Like if they're all of sudden losing a bunch of weight, buying new clothes and laying in their bedroom texting people at all hours or they say they're going out to for an hour, but they don't come back until late etc.
    I was just curious about some of the games that people play when they don't want to end a relationship for whatever reason, but they're obviously moving on.

    It's interesting to me, because I only trust people's actions so I like to understand them.
    That's what this question is really about.





      June 26, 2018 3:50 PM MDT
    2

  • Talk about shared plans for the future fade away.

    Few shared interests. Not enjoying time spent together.

    Little interest in conversation together. 

    Expressions of appreciation, affection, gratitude and love have become rare.

    Nitpicking and criticism are frequent, as is the carrying of grievances over past hurts.

    Or one or both might be engaging in passive-aggressive behaviour; covert undermining.

    Difficulty or avoidance of talking over differences and/or important events constructively.

    Seeing working on the relationship as a waste of time.

    The partner no longer seems attractive. 

    Some attribute may trigger a feeling of disgust or revulsion.

    You may see a look or reaction of disgust at certain times.

    Loss of interest in and avoidance of physical love-making. 

    (Careful here; age after 40 can be a factor, i.e., nothing more than the dropping hormones.)

    Loss of trust.

    Other interests and activities have become more interesting than the relationship.

    A future without that person seems much more attractive.

     

    The couple might still be hanging together for practicality and convenience. 

    Once enmeshed with property, finances, kids etc, separation becomes very difficult.

    In old age, many couples feel they no longer have any other options.

      June 26, 2018 3:53 PM MDT
    5

  • 7789
    Divorce papers served by the sheriff.
      June 26, 2018 4:20 PM MDT
    6

  • 44583
    Don't know. I never felt as if somebody was in love with me. All I have known is that I am a provider and they are users. I never felt anything else.
      June 26, 2018 5:33 PM MDT
    5