If the mental health community opened a new field of expertise in grammar counseling, would I be better suited to take advantage of it as a provider, or as a patient?

No humor, sorry. You're definitely demented and need to be a patient before considering being a counselor, this is serious business, I mean having you in charge of our thoughts is scary to say the least, please get treatment before giving advise to all us AM. sickos. We all need professional help from a PHD. I think Rosie G. would make a great counselor.