I've lived in the same area for almost 5 yrs, i cant find someone to so much as have a cup of coffee with, other places ive lived at i couldnt get away from people, for some reason people wont hang out with me. not sure why but i cant make them. even in church people wont even so much as sit with me and it dont even matter what church i go to, if i switch churches i get the same thing somewhere else and yes i do shower so thats not it. I dont know if its cause im short, 4ft5 and people just dont think of me as an adult or what. its just diappointing to never have anyone to hang out with, invite you nowheres, etc., not even on my birthday which is coming up soon, i know noone will invite me over and i cant even go nowheres that day cause its sunday and buses dont run.
Im just tired of living like this and wondered if i should get a pet. any suggestions? ive thought of asking people to do stuff with them but i dont want to force them if theyre not interested. my apt building will allow pets as long as theyre small ones but im out of work but then i see homeless people with pets so i think if they can do it i guess i can too. none of the other places ive ever lived at were like this, wondered if i should move away, thought of that too. anyone else going thru that?
i cant get on my knees cause of a bad knee
Are you shy? People who are shy often don't look others in the eye. That is a big thing with people (though often they don't even realize it). If you look people in the eye, they are both more accepting and more trusting of you. It also boosts your confidence in dealing with others. Also, if you smile at people, even strangers as you pass, you are perceived as more approachable.
If you've analyzed the situation correctly; that you had no problem making friends at your last locale, then chances are good you've landed yourself into a cloistered community where no one new fits in or is allowed to fit in. My suggestion, then, is to seek the friendship of newcomers such as yourself. They'll be in the same boat.
Oh, and I dunno what church you attend, but it's clearly not meeting your spiritual needs. Keep trying to find a new church home until you happen across one which works for you, and to which you can contribute. (Note: look outside your chosen denomination.)
(Be aware, though, that some people/cultures view direct glances ['stares'] as threats or challenges to belligerence.)
Build a raised bed or tube garden. :-)
That is true, but I and others I know, often view those who don't meet your eyes as a bad sign/red flag with people.
Regarding your advice below...spot on. :)
Asking is not forcing.
When you ask the other is always free to say no.
Maybe try out hobbies
dance classes
debate societies
anything that takes your fancy and gets you out meeting a wider range of people.
During the tea breaks stand near the groups and listen in.
When the time is right ask a question relevant to the topic being discussed.
When you have a chance
draw people out about their likes
dislikes
what brought them there and so on.
Be helpful with small tasks in the group.
Keep it up for at least several months.
If things are not working out by then
find the most sympathetic person and
quietly ask them if there's anything you could do better in order to attract friends.
Everyone else as covered virtually everything really well.. I would just like to add.. bear in mind if you get a pet.. that vets fees are very expensive.. I spent a few thousand pounds on my rabbit.. therefore my advice would be if you get a pet get pet insurance.
Look into different pet insurances.. because after my first rabbit and spending a lot on her.. I got medical insurance on my last rabbit.. and I had to pay the first 50 pound and the insurance would only cover the remaining.. very often the bills would be 60 pound so it wasn't worth claiming the 10 pound back.. but its definitely essential because operations and anaesthetics are very expensive. Also feeding them isn't cheap.
So double check you can actually afford a pet.
Good luck..The people here have gave you some great advice :)
im going to wait before i get one
That's wise.. :)
Again good luck to you. :)
