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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » Are you a BORROWER or BORROWEE? Ever get back all the things others have borrowed from thee? Really?
RosieG

Are you a BORROWER or BORROWEE? Ever get back all the things others have borrowed from thee? Really?

Pots and pans and sweaters and books I've let others "borrow" and were never returned. I did not assert myself. What about you? "Neither a borrower or lender be". Is that thee?

I  bought some fancy ski clothes and went skiing THE FIRST TIME. I'm not cut out for it so. I loaned the clothes to a gal with whom I worked. She quit and didn't return them or pay me. I gave my favorite sweater ON LOAN to a friend when it was cold and she left my house to  go home. I thought  we'd see each other again. Never did.

I've let people use dishes and pots and pans and never got them back. I have no idea why I'm even thinking about it now decades later. Sheesh. It's my fault of course so how come I'm bit**ing?  I ALWAYS return what I borrow. I NEVER have kept anything that didn't belong to me.  Just like going to the library and returning books that are due I never didn't NOT do that. Did you?

Posted - December 9, 2018
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Responses


  • 10531

    I don't borrow things and if somebody wants to borrow something  from me I first take something of theirs of equal or greater value.  I let a buddy borrow my wood splitting tools last week and I am holding on to his power washer until he brings them back.  Cheers!

      December 9, 2018 10:25 AM MST
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  • 113301
    That is a SERIOUSLY GREAT IDEA Nanoose. You ARE serious aren't you? You aren't just teasing me? Bet you always get your stuff back! Thank you for your reply! :)
      December 9, 2018 12:28 PM MST
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  • 10531
    Ya it's a business practise that I picked up when I was in the cannabis biz.. Any way it can save a lot of time and trouble in the long run so I think it's a good practice. Cheers!
      December 9, 2018 1:50 PM MST
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  • 113301
    Wowzer! Okey dokey then. So you were "in the cannabis biz".  It's so odd that what used to put people in jail is now a profession of some. Go figger! Thank you for your reply Nanoose and Happy Monday! :)
      December 10, 2018 7:44 AM MST
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  • Great idea indeed, Nanoose!
      December 10, 2018 9:03 AM MST
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  • 19942
    I'm neither a borrower nor a lender.  Most friends are smaller in size, so I don't have to lend clothing.  I have advanced a family member some funds until payday, but that's about all.  
      December 9, 2018 11:47 AM MST
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  • 113301
    You have never loaned THINGS to people L? Wow!  Geez.  I didn't know that was possible! Thank you for opening my eyes to what is possible. Too late cuz the train left that station long ago but still and all it's good to know! Thank you for your reply! :)                                          
      December 9, 2018 12:29 PM MST
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  • 19942
    If I did loan something to someone, I got it back quickly or I would still be fuming. :)
      December 9, 2018 1:25 PM MST
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  • 113301
    As I said sweetie it is entirely my fault. I never asserted myself. I bit**ed a bit but didn't take it forward. I mean if someone moves away and takes my stuff too and doesn't give me a way to contact them whaddo I do? I clearly never learned a lesson from it because through many years I never changed my MO. So I did it to meself and I have no valid defense and no one to lay the blame on but moi. SIGH. Thank you for your reply! :)
      December 10, 2018 7:46 AM MST
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  • 19942
    I understand.  People move, don't return things - I wouldn't go after that person either.  Not learning your lesson?  You're still the better person. :)
      December 10, 2018 12:53 PM MST
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  • 113301
    That's a very kind thing to say. I say you're the smarter person. I don't know if I qualify for "better". I mean I criticize those who don't learn from their experiences and keep doing the same things and complaining about it and here is me doing it too! You know what L I just realized something about me. Over the years I have GIVEN lots of things to people just because I wanted to do so. All kinds of things. Maybe I'm not all that attached to things? I just had a flashback to Junior College. I always had Lifesaver's or something with me and I'd offer them to classmates. One day a guy who sat in front of me asked me why I was always giving things to people? That question set me back on my heels. He seemed to intimate I was trying to buy them to like me or something. He gave a motive from his perspective that made me feel very uncomfortable. How do I know why I did that? It's weird but it really bothered me though it didn't change me except with respect to him. I stopped offering him anything. WHOA. Journey back to being 17! My long-term memory seems to be getting sharper. I have no idea why! Thank you for your reply!  Sorry for the long-winded response! :)
      December 11, 2018 2:35 AM MST
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  • 19942
    You were raised to be kind to others.  Simple as that.  He was the one who needed to learn a lesson. :  Happy Tuesday. :)
      December 11, 2018 5:23 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Once again you got my back again! Thank you L. Isn't it funny the things we remember? :)
      December 11, 2018 5:43 AM MST
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  • I don't believe it's your "Fault", Rosie.  I believe you have been/are a genuinely thoughtful, giving person, and you probably assumed those people you have lent items to would automatically know to do the right thing by returning what was lent to them.   Unfortunately not all people are as thoughtful.   
    I have lent many things to people over the years, only to never see those items again, or if they are returned to me, sometimes they were broken.  I had a vacuum returned to me broken, and the neighbor/friend who borrowed it - a single mom - apologized and offered to pay $20 to either fix it or help to replace it. I accepted the money, because well, SHE broke it.   Oh boy, did she resent that, even though it was her fault.  She was hoping that I would not accept the money because she's a single mom.   Sorry (not), you break, you buy.    Long story short, prior to that, she was one of those neighbors that borrowed everything from everyone, and she didn't always return things, or if she did, it was broken or cracked.   Needless to say, after that vacuum incident, I cut her off from borrowing from me. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at December 11, 2018 2:57 AM MST
      December 10, 2018 9:01 AM MST
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  • 19942
    Your description of Rosie is spot on.  :)
      December 10, 2018 12:54 PM MST
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  • 113301
    Oh sweetie honestly you are WAY TOO KIND! But thank you L! :)
      December 11, 2018 3:05 AM MST
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  • 113301
    That's a very kind thing to say to me lavender. I appreciate it. It brings to mind something about someone breaking something of ours long ago. My Jim is a retired barber/hair stylist. After he retired there were a few clients who would come to our place for haircuts. One of them was a very obese man. He probably weighed 300 lbs plus. Now the chair he sat in was very study but we had a loveseat where both seats reclined if you pulled  a lever. One day after the haircut he sat in one of the seats and after he left we discovered he had broken it. We never said a word to him. We had to replace it. How could we tell him without embarrassing him so we never did. Your neighbor sounds like a horrible person. Resenting your accepting $20 to repair something SHE BROKE! Was $20 even enough? I wonder why there are folks like that who seem to think folks OWE THEM something and they owe nothing in return. Sigh. Anyway good for you. Did she get the hint? I find folks like that are quite dense/obtuse. Thank you for your reply m'dear and Happy Tuesday! :)
      December 11, 2018 3:04 AM MST
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