Discussion»Statements»Rosie's Corner» Fair-weather friends. Have any? You know the icky ilk who are always there to enjoy/TAKE then disappear when fun stops and serious begins?
I've had a few. I despise "fair weather friends". So much so that I made it a point in my life to never be one to someone else (probably why I have few friends).
It's nice to have friends. It's even better to have friends who'll still be there when things go downhill. I understand that everyone can't handle all situations. There are certain situations that, if my friends ever went through them, would send me off crying somewhere (empathic vibes). Even so, I'd still try to be there for them - despite what it put me through. Unfortunately, there are certain people out there that only want to be friends when things are rosy. They're there for you when all is great, but at the slightest hint of adversity they either refuse to talk to you, or they vanish altogether. However, when all is well again, some will resurface,spouting numerous lame excuses as to why they couldn't be there at the time. These folks dont know what true friendship is, and probably never will. Oh, they love it when you're there for them in a crisis, but they won't reciprocate.
Years ago my stepfather was in a terrible accident from which he never recovered. My mom took care of him until she couldn't anymore and then we put him in a place that could. The money came from a lawsuit we won. All the reasons that caused it are unbelievable but I won't bore you with that. My then-best friend told me this. Not exactly verbatim but what I recall. That she wasn't very good during a crisis so she was going to back off the friendship for awhile until things settled down. I didn't say a word. I turned my back on her and walked away and never spoke to her again. SIGH. I cannot even imagine saying something like that to someone. But during a crisis the real person shows up and sometimes the person you thought was so beautiful takes off the mask and you realize how ugly he/she is beneath the masquerade. Thank you for your thoughtful answer Shuhak. People disappoint. Some surprise you by being there all-in when you never expected it. I expect it's a wash. It balances out.
Many people don't know how to handle other people's "problems". What do you say to someone who's in mourning? What do you say to someone who just found out that they have cancer? These are hard questions. Yet to drop a friend like a hot potato just because they can't handle the situation, or it makes them uncomfortable, is the wrong answer. Many times all a friend has to (or can) do is be there - offer a shoulder to cry on; simply listen; or offer a comforting smile. Yes, it may make them feel uncomfortable, but they need to put themselves in their friends shoes. How would THEY want to be treated if it were they who were having the "problem"? Real friends stay - despite any hardships that may occur.
Precisely. It was a very deep hurt and I guess I got over it but yet here I am decades later recounting it as if it happened yesterday. At least she was honest about it. But I could have done without knowing about it. That was a good example of "ignorance is bliss". SIGH. Thank you for your reply and Happy Saturday! :)
Shuhak 