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Don Barzini
Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » What are you not a lot of that you wish you were and too much of that you wish you weren't? Any hopes you can fix it?

What are you not a lot of that you wish you were and too much of that you wish you weren't? Any hopes you can fix it?

Posted - January 4


  • 5686
    Wish I were more interesting to people. But that is not going to happen.  Especially at my age.  Perhaps I have become too self-sufficient.  So people think I don't need them and can do without them. In general. 
      January 4, 2019 7:36 AM MST

  • 65394
    And what is your age that makes becoming "more interesting to others" too late? It's never too late. And also what makes you think you are not interesting to others?  I've worried about tons of things in my life but never once that I wasn't more interesting. I wish I were more patient. I wish I were a lot smarter. I wish I were ALWAYS kind but I'm not. My impatience precludes that. But more interesting? Not once. But I have more than once wished I were INVISIBLE so I'd be left alone and NOT bugged or expected to do things or say things others wanted.  Different stokes og. Thank you for your reply and Happy Friday to thee! :) This post was edited by RosieG at January 4, 2019 1:06 PM MST
      January 4, 2019 1:04 PM MST

  • 2717
    I wish I were a bit more outgoing (not to much, though) and a lot less of a perfectionist.

    My lack of being outgoing has made for a very lonely life, and my OCD perfectionism practically drives me insane.

    I'm trying very hard to work on my perfectionism (and I'll do it perfectly too), but there's' not much I can do about being outgoing.  I am who I am.
      January 4, 2019 10:18 AM MST

  • 65394
    Here is where we part company m'dear. If something works kinda  sorta maybe okay and I can manage to get along I'm fine with it. Jim, on the other hand, is a perfectionist and always expects whatever it is to work at OPTIMUM level. Not me. I adjust. I make do. I adapt. I always have. In fact I don't even notice a lot of stuff that drives other folks bonkers. I just don't. Why I do not know. As for being more outgoing as you know I was a painfully shy child. I think I've outgrown it somewhat but it's easy to be outgoing on the internet behind a screen where you are never seen. Face-to-face in the real world? I withdraw. I require solitude I can't stand crowds. I can't breathe when I'm surrounded by too many people. I need alone time and I am not happy if people just "drop by" without calling first to see if it is convenient. So I guess how I am is okay with me. Thank you for your reply Shuhak! :) This post was edited by RosieG at January 4, 2019 4:17 PM MST
      January 4, 2019 1:13 PM MST

  • 2717
    Everyone's different. Some are perfectionists, some are laid back, others are in between.  But without all kinds of people,  this world would fall apart.  In therapy I went through something called the enneagram.  it helps "classify"(?) types of people and helps you learn how to deal with them.  For example, when you tell a perfectionist they are wrong, they take it personally - even if you meant it as a compliment.
    I probably seem a bit outgoing here behind the screen.  However, in real life I probably couldn't talk to you - literally.  I have no problem with telling someone in a store where to find an item or such, but when it comes to having conversations, I freeze up.  Even once I get to know someone I find it hard to talk.  I've always been this way, but I find it's getting worse as I grow older.  
    I too can't breathe in a crowd of people (I do good to sit through church).  I try to avoid them at all costs.  They make me anxious (a feeling of claustrophobia).  Because of this, I have ended up living a life of solitude.  Yet for some reason, I don't find that solitude as "enjoyable" as I did when I was younger.
      January 4, 2019 4:49 PM MST

  • 65394
    I think you would not find it difficult to talk to me Shuhak. We seem to share a lot in common and with that sharing comes unspoken understanding. You are a thinker and very solid articulate and substantial person. I think it would be a shame to not share you with others who might find you inspiring or enlightening or encouraging or a good role model. You never know when a word or two at the right might just make someone's day. If I had to choose solitude or being surrounded by people 24/7 it's a no-brainer. So I understand. BUT some of my most  awesomest and very bestest times have come in random conversations. Enllghtenment can never be predicted. Understanding something finally isn't a sure thing. It happens out of the blue unexpectedly. We call that serendipity! Finding something splendid you did not seek. If you stay off alone all the time you are depriving others of your experiences, views, ideas and maybe it is just what they needed to hear. I don't mean to lecture you m'dear. I have not walked in your shoes. We each walk alone in fact. We all die alone. Surrounded by people or not it is a solitary path human beings walk and it's nice on occasion to touch base with others, engage, give and take and then move on. Just my opinion m'dear. I know I feel very glad that we chat pretty regularly. Maybe it's the me in you I react positively to but it doesn't really matter. I'm sure I'm alone in enjoying our chats. Of course you can't miss what you never had but isn't sad to think of what might have been had be just taken a chance? Okay. Enough of that. Thank you for your reply! :)
      January 5, 2019 5:09 AM MST