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Benedict Arnold

Am I experiencing true love?

I was very badly humiliated by an office colleague with whom I was in a brief relationship, and we had a very nasty breakup. I had resolved never to get intimate with him or any other office colleague. I'm presently in another relationship; but even more than a year afterwards he's ever present in my thoughts. I've never felt this way before. Am I truly in love?

Posted - February 1, 2019
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Responses


  • If he humiliated you, I doubt very much you’re in  love with him,  even though still on your mind constantly. You’re probably in love with the idea of who you wanted him to be.
     “When someone shows you who they are, believe them“ 
      February 1, 2019 5:43 PM MST
    9

  • Well said Jaimie!  I agree.  Love should build you up, not bring you down.
      February 1, 2019 5:53 PM MST
    8

  • Absolutly it should.  we all figure that out eventually,  if lucky. :)
      February 1, 2019 5:54 PM MST
    6

  • 5808
    it's not so hard to have 
    consistent thoughts about someone
    or something. Especially easy to drop
    one and pick up another such person
    or thing to think about.
         But is it true love? or fantasies of desire?
    Do you Feel it in your heart, like a blissful wave
    of the ocean of love warming your heart?
    ...then it could be...
      February 1, 2019 6:11 PM MST
    4

  • 44659
    I don't know...I have never experienced it.
      February 1, 2019 7:19 PM MST
    5

  • 3523
    I didn't "Like" your answer because this is seriously how I felt about it:

    Image result for Sad face gif
      February 1, 2019 8:28 PM MST
    2

  • 7939
      February 1, 2019 8:40 PM MST
    4

  • 44659
    (JK)
      February 2, 2019 8:48 AM MST
    1

  • 7939
    Unrequited love. It's different than true love. Unrequited love sticks with you because it hurts. True love sticks with you because it's pure. 
      February 1, 2019 8:42 PM MST
    6

  • 53531

      Wait, I thought that when true love sticks with you it means it's time to change the sheets . . . 



    ~
      February 1, 2019 9:53 PM MST
    2

  • 44659
      February 2, 2019 8:47 AM MST
    2

  • 510
    No one, only you can answer that!
    I have to edit this answer. Things other than love might keeping him in your mind. You see him or come across him daily could also be the reason. This post was edited by Natasha Saphique at February 3, 2019 6:31 AM MST
      February 3, 2019 2:49 AM MST
    1

  • I know. He had left the company soon after our breakup. In fact he had been asked to leave the company then. But they couldn't find any one suitable to fill his vacancy, and he also wanted to return; so he's back with us. He and I went on a business trip together recently, and although nothing untoward happened between us, I think we have both started to feel the pull again. I've never experienced such feelings before; it's quite unnerving really. This post was edited by Benedict Arnold at February 3, 2019 2:06 PM MST
      February 3, 2019 3:39 AM MST
    2

  • 510
    Think it over, in case you looking to go ahead again. I wonder if that guy is married!
      February 3, 2019 11:44 AM MST
    1

  • Just divorced. But he did have the reputation of being something of a philanderer. He is eight years younger, and his personality is very magnetic, i must confess. A superb negotiator, he and I make a very good team. But I can't trust him for fidelity. 
      February 3, 2019 2:16 PM MST
    1

  • 510
    Fidelity ranks higher than most traits while taking such relationship decisions specially with some one who has a reputation of being womanizer. Making a good team or being in office with someone is one thing and living such person for a life is altogether a different story. You're a wise woman and you know what is good, what is not!
      February 4, 2019 12:41 PM MST
    0

  • 6098
    Not unless "true love" is humiliation for you.  Would guess you had some expectations in that relationship which went unmet and its those you are still in love with.  Or maybe you enjoyed your lovemaking and you miss that.  Which often can be quite good with someone by itself.  Or working with him you just know he is a possibility. We are created to love whether or not it leads ultimately to anything more.
      February 4, 2019 6:41 AM MST
    1