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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » Some folks program their lives with things to do every minute of every day. They do that to their kids too. No free time to just be. WHY?
RosieG

Some folks program their lives with things to do every minute of every day. They do that to their kids too. No free time to just be. WHY?

Having free time to just be. Think about whatever comes to mind. Laze about dreaming about? Why would anyone program anyone? Obligatory things like school or church and then all the choices. Dance class or playing an instrument lessons or being on sports teams and having to practive till perfect! No time to be a kid! Locked into strict routines with no hope of ever getting unlocked. Maybe religious classes too. Where does a kid have time to be a kid when he is always obliged to be somewhere doing something under the direction of someone? What's that all about?

Posted - February 7, 2019
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Responses


  • 4624
    Probably the reasons vary.
    A few I can guess: parents who are...
    - control freaks - afraid that idle hands and minds lead to mischief
    - trying to keep up with the Joneses - if other parents and kids are doing it, then theirs must too, or suffer stigma
    - over protective - frightened of stranger danger or the risks from scout masters, priests, etc
    - unduly ambitious - projecting their goals and expectations onto their kids - judging their own performance (ego) by their kids' achievements
    - unwilling to spend time in direct relationship with their kids, bored by them - so allowing computer games, internet and cell phones to act as "babysitters" to keep the kids from being nuisances by constantly demanding attention.

      February 7, 2019 2:09 AM MST
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  • 113301
    My son loved baseball and joined a Little League team when he was 8 and stuck with it till he was 16 and in the other baseball leagues. His choice. A neighbor boy was rarely available for anything spontaneous. Besides regular school he went to Hebrew School studying for his  Bar Mitzvah, took music lessons (some kind of horn..I forget which kind), and I think was also taking some kind of martial art like karate or something similar. So with homework and practicing he was always busy. He seemed frustrated and worried all the time. Poor kid. I never said anything to the parents because what the he** business was it of mine? But I felt bad for him. Now he had an older brother whom the parents did not program. Maybe the older kid said "NO". Thank you for your reply NdP. This post was edited by RosieG at February 7, 2019 3:05 AM MST
      February 7, 2019 3:04 AM MST
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  • 6098
    Well we have responsibilities.  Plus things we want to do.  I would not agree that "just being" means doing nothing. 
      February 7, 2019 5:04 AM MST
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  • 555
    It's important to teach kids to use their leisure time constructively. This is especially so with older children, those of 12 upwards, since they are subject to so many temptations and bad influences - drugs, alcohol, pressure for underage sex, excessive social media use.

    But I don't see why it has to be music or sport - if you want a child to take up a self-improving pursuit, it might just as well be painting or design or carpentry or electrical assembly. We can't all be good at the same things - where possible parents need to build on interests or talents that their child already shows signs of having.

    But an excessively structured life may not be a good thing either, and especially not if it is motivated by competitiveness and vanity on the part of the parents instead of what is really best for the child.

      February 7, 2019 1:06 PM MST
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  • 7280
    Why---a lot of parents don't understand the necessity of "playing" for appropriate development.  Playing is essentially the "work" of the child.

    We are appropriately called human beings, not human doings---such a simple concept and so obvious it is frequently overlooked.

    A local band I used to listen to about 40 years ago produced one or two albums.  One of the songs they played in their sets had the following lyrics:  "Look what I've done now boys, watch me do my stuff---tell me when I've done enough."

    Not everybody is comfortable being with alone with themselves and with nothing to do.
      February 7, 2019 2:17 PM MST
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