Depends on the person, the situation and the nature of the boundary.
There are some actions and behaviours I will not accept. If I see them coming I take action to avert them. If they happen, I deal with it appropriately at the time and in the aftermath.
I've learned from hard experience not to engage with people who have serious mental health issues. Despite the various campaigns to reduce stigma, I have learned that such people are not harmless and can sometimes be lethally dangerous.
Most of my boundaries involve avoidance, done so quietly that no one notices.
When necessary I will say "no" or, "I'm not sure; I need some time to think about that."
Thank you for your thoughtful reply NdP. I too avoid engaging with those who are unstable in my real life. But I have encountered on the internet on rare occasion some who flipflop from lucid calm logical to insulting and erratic and I figgered out they can't help it. I think it's called Bipolar today that used to be referred to as Manic Depressive. They're supposed to take meds to control it. I guess there is no cure for it. But as for my LINE I really don't think about it in advance. When something occurs that is totally not okay with me I just withdraw go away and don't return. Rarely do I give second chances. I don't like being talked down to or condescended to. I don't put up with it. But with regard to the Bipolar folks I just engage with the lucid person and avoid/ignore the outrageous attacker. Here's an example from way long ago in my real life about a line that was crossed. I had a very good friend. At the time a "best" friend or so I thought. My stepfather was involved in a very bad accident that changed his life and my mom's of course. My "friend" and I attended night school together taking bookkeeping. Shortly after the accident happened one night after night school class had ended she told me that she wasn't very good at handling hardships or tragedies so she was going to take a break and back away from the friendship until things settled down. I am not making this up. I just stood there and listened. Then I turned my back on her and walked away. I never spoke to her again. I ignored her in class. Now perhaps you think that was a very harsh reaction. I didn't know I would do that. I have never regretted it. A friend is supposed to be there to lend support through the tough times. She was clearly a "fairweather" friend. I don't need such folks in my life. So when my line is crossed I react. Thank you for your reply!:)
This post was edited by RosieG at March 6, 2019 2:13 AM MST
inky 