Some people can read between the lines and understand what is really being said. Others do not have a clue. What makes some people so perceptive and others so not?

It's part empathy, and it's part active listening combined with openness and the ability to be active listening.

Amen to that. Perfectly put! :)

 Your answer really appeals to me SH. I think it covers all the bases beautifully. If one is hostile to the question asker none of what you describe above is  possible. If one is friendly to the asker that's when real connecting can take place. Thank you for your reply and Happy Sunday! :)

We have different types and levels of development in cognitive skills. The brain learns all the sounds of the languages it hears within the first 12 months of life. By 2 empathy begins to show. By 4 some children understand the concept of waiting in return for a reward. Between 3 and 5 a child learns to understand and read deception.  Vocal grammar formation is complete by 6 years. By 12 logical reasoning begins but needs nurture to develop.

All of these qualities are necessary to read and hear language within context. And it is context which helps us read between lines. Memory helps a great deal. As do similarities in experiences. If we have a broad understanding of different viewpoints, certain words and styles of language can tip us off to that which is not said.

For example, some people hold that one should never criticise. So if I see them with a pursed mouth look of disapproval in a particular situation, I will guess that they are thinking critical thoughts. I will then listen to what they say, and look for what is not said. I might then try to find an indirect way of finding out something about their values and expectations in order to pinpoint precisely what they are not saying.

But it's at least partly a guessing game. I can be ridiculously wrong. None of it is infallible. Irony is sometimes completely invisible in print, because we can't see the facial expression or hear the tone of voice. Some people do put emotion into the tone of their writing, but others deliberately leave it out - so dry one is left with no idea whether it was a joke or not.

I am sometimes able to read between your lines, Rosie, because I have the context of all the other questions you've asked, and your comments and responses. I'm starting to get to know you a little and I have a reasonably good memory.

And yet, as you know, I've made errors in my guesses about you, and you've been kind enough to correct me. I mean that sincerely. I always prefer to be set straight when I've made a mistake.

You pretty much nail it every time hartfire. I want to bounce something off you. I heard yesterday that a child's brain is 80% formed by age 3! The rest of the 20% gets formed as he/she grows! Now that is an astonishing thing if true! I taught my son how to read at home and he got his library card when he was 3 years old! I wanted to inculcate within him a love of reading.  From his earliest moment on earth I read to him. Daily.  While he does have a very above-average intellect I think teaching kids how to read is every parent's responsibility. And I think all kids could learn how to read before ever going to school . But parents don't take the time or have the time and leave all of that to the teachers who are supposed to magically  educate our children when 80% of their brain is rock solid formed before the teachers ever get a crack at them! Anyway thank you for another thoughtful and informative reply. The more we talk the  easier it becomes to understand one another. We are still quite new to each other. I have friends here whom I've had since Answerbag days and they can read me so easily. But we've had years and years to perfect it. And sometimes the way the question is worded makes it more difficult to "get" my drift. I assume a lot from the folks on Answermug. I assume they keep up politically. The astonishing thing that I have found both here on Answermug and on Answerbag is that many of our members who do not live in America know more about what's going on in our country than many Americans do. Sad though that it is I am always happy to chat with them because they bring me a different view of us. Happy Sunday hartfire! :)

Nature, ancestry, education, training, upbringing, nurture, culture ...

•              "I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill .

Winston Churchill, in response: "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."

•              "It is better to appear stupid than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." - ?Mark Twain

•              "Trump is a self-made man and worships his creator." – Unknown

Heartfelt warmth towards you, Rosie. :)

After so many of the same it's not hard, and there're no lines to read be-tween the lines anymore. I mean REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I answer what you actually ask, rather than your implied dig at Trump.

:):):) Merci!

My first chuckle of the morning Grasshopper for which I thank you. There was another exchange involving Churchill I believe. I cannot remember it verbatim but it had something to do with a woman saying "if you were my husband I'd poison you" and his replying "Madam if I were your husband I would take it". I probably screwed that up royally up but what more perfect rejoinder could one possibly give than that? Thank you for your reply m'dear. I had not heard the one about Trump. It is perfection in such few words I am speechless! :)

Some of us prefer not to beat around the bush. If you have something to say, then say it and move on. I've never been one to speak in riddles. Good communication is clear and is clearly received. Battles have been lost and empires have fallen because someone didn't understand the marching orders. 

I just read through this page. I love Grasshopper's Trump joke!
I want to add a few comments to the little chat between Rosie and Hartfire.
On the child development issue, human babies do not become sentient until around the age of three. We also can't remember much until about that age; the brains of infants just don't develop enough neural pathways before then.
I agree entirely about learning to read as early as possible. I learned on me mam's knee (lapsing into Cumbrian dialect here) and I could certainly read and write before I started school. Then when I started school, they made me take the ITA, Initial Teaching Alphabet, as it was in those days. Early form of phonetics. So I was taught to misspell and mispronounce words I already knew in standard English. Where's the sense in that? When I was 9, they gave us all tests, and decided I could read like a 15 year old. Mind you, I was pretty much crap at everything else!

:)