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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » I wonder if beauty is a handicap at times? Some very beautiful women have led very terrible lives. Why?

I wonder if beauty is a handicap at times? Some very beautiful women have led very terrible lives. Why?

Being beautiful does not insure being happy but it surely opens more doors. Are women who aren't drop-dead gorgeous apt to live happier lives than those who are? I wonder if there are statistics connecting looks and happiness. I know tall men are apt to be hired more quickly than those who aren't. And if you're applying to be a receptionist in a health club being beautiful is a better advertisement for the club than being not so hot. But beyond that in living a life. If your mom is VERY BEAUTIFUL and you are not I wonder what that does to a child's self-esteem? Also if the beautiful one relies on her looks to "get" what happens when her looks fade? If she hasn't developed anything else to fall back on what happens to her?

I guess as with most things there are pros and cons. Given a choice would you gals prefer to be very beautiful (assuming you aren't already)and you guys prefer to be very handsome(assuming you aren't already)? Why?

Posted - March 26, 2019

Responses


  • 6098
    I think it would have been nice to be beautiful if only for a little while just to see and feel what it would be like.  But I also think just depending on our looks if we do not develop other aspects of ourselves then we become very shallow.  I could never make it on my looks so had to cultivate other parts of myself to male myself valuable to people - being efficient, being a good companion, cooking and cleaning, learning how to take care of myself etc.

    You remember on AB many of the women there were drop-dead and were not shy about posting pictures of themselves.  One in particular answered every question with a picture of herself.  Another one who did once I questioned how good a practice that was and she came down on me as hard as anyone ever has!  She said I don't know about you but I value my looks. I wrote OK but does not necessarily follow that if you value your appearance you must necessarily inflict it on others.

    My mother was very beautiful and did not lead a happy life.  She expected and looked forward to my being beautiful as her only daughter.  When I did not turn out so she blamed both herself and me and never really got over that.

    So I always knew I was not beautiful.  But you know it allowed me to develop other parts of myself.  Sometimes other people do think I am beautiful and the fact that I am not makes me appreciate that they think that so much more!   Which if everyone thought that it would be just ho-hum what else is new.   So I learned to accept myself and appreciate what I cultivated in myself and in giving to others.  But still would have been nice to see and feel what it would be like to be beautiful. 
      March 26, 2019 6:23 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    You were on AB? With the same moniker? I have no recollection of you so I guess either we didn't cross paths or the chemo in 2008 wiped out that part of my memory. Thank you for your thoughtful first-person reply. I disappointed my mom too. Not because of my looks. Everyone disappointed her so I didn't take it personally.
      March 27, 2019 3:29 AM MDT
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  • 6098
    I was "Anonymous" on AB.  From late October 2009.  You told me I should not use that name and asked my real name which I gave you. 
      March 27, 2019 6:28 AM MDT
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  • 6023
    I learned in elementary school the truth of the saying: "Beauty is only skin deep".
    Even at that young age, I recognized girls who used their looks to use people.

    The other side of the coin were girls who were "too beautiful" ... and were not asked out by any guy, because "surely she has a boyfriend" or "some guy like me doesn't have a chance with a girl that beautiful".
      March 26, 2019 9:34 AM MDT
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  • 113301
     Are you or were you a drop dead handsome guy? If not would you have liked to be?  I had a friend in junior college who was as drop-dead brilliant as she was-drop dead gorgeous. She was sick and tired of being valued for her looks. I think smart dames who are gorgeous always are valued for what people can see on the outside and not for whom they are inside so I kinda think I'm better off having been what I am. Not bad in my day. But certainly never drop-dead gorgeous! Thank you for your reply Walt! :)
      March 27, 2019 3:33 AM MDT
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  • 46117
    I think of all the glamorous stars of the 30's 40's and 50's, etc. etc.

    Many of them had such tragic lives after having a few decades in the sun and being worshipped as a goddess.


    I am thinking just off the top of my head.

    GOD what a tragic list.

    Rita Hayworth.  Alzhiemer's
    Vivienne Leigh - severe mental derangement
    Lana Turner - scandals galore
    Marilyn Monroe - suicide or murder
    Susan Hayward cancer
    and look at Brigitte Bardot these days.  OH MAN.  She is not ill, but she needs to hide.



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    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at March 27, 2019 3:33 AM MDT
      March 26, 2019 9:41 AM MDT
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  • 113301
    Some folks, men as well as women, age well. Gracefully. Others don't. Janet Leigh did not age well. Debbie Reynolds did. Haven't seen  Doris Day for years. Don't know how she well she has aged. Kim Novak was on a TV show a couple of years ago and her face was bloated smooth. Not a wrinkle. She was unrecognizable and looked rather monstrous. I think it was when Robert Osborne was still alive and she was a guest on TCM (Turner Classic movies) Thank you for your reply Sharon. That photo is really surprising. I hope she just takes it all in stride and has developed herself enough within to just let it slide.
      March 27, 2019 3:37 AM MDT
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