It’s more important to me to recognize who is worthy of trust. We should be about our due diligence As Einstein said: ”Whoever is careless with the truth in small matters cannot be trusted with important matters.“
It is no less important to be self-sufficient enough to not require trusting too many people.
This post was edited by Don Barzini at March 28, 2019 6:46 AM MDT
Hey there Don. I believe that no less important is being able to objectively distinguish between what is a breach of trust and what is not. If someone were to confide in my their involvement in a dangerous situation that will likely lead to them harming themselves or someone else, would it be a breach of trust if I, in an effort to avoid such consequences, exposed their activity to those who could help...
This post was edited by designer at March 27, 2019 6:01 PM MDT
Very good point, Designer. But I think we have to consider the details of each case.
I think in a case of foreseeable harm to someone else particularly, it becomes a moral imperative to do WHATEVER is in our power to prevent it, trust or no, lest we are complicit in a crime. To my mind, disregard for other people’s safety is a greater evil.
If it is a case of self-harm, we might have more effect to address the issue with the individual directly, before seeking outside aid. Trust becomes an ally.
I’m very careful with who I let get close to me, so I don’t give many people opportunity to betray my trust because I don’t give it easily. But if someone who I do let in betrays my trust, they’re dead to me. I’m easy going like that, lol.
Anyone who can be trusted in little matters can also be trusted in important matters. But anyone who is dishonest in little matters will be dishonest in important matters.
I trust until someone gives me a reason not to. Then it is over.
Can't help but think of that old line "In God we trust - all others pay cash." Which you used to see around a lot. I look at it more in terms of responsibility. What my responsibility is to someone, what is theirs to me. Because being imperfect individuals we are all going to have our own ideas of what is good for us and we can't expect that anyone else's will be the same as ours. So to think that anyone will , in all circumstances, "have your back" is just impractical and you only set yourself up for hurt because they have their own life to lead. So we trust in pertinent, particular areas where such trust is necessary rather than just a blanket trusting. So if we hire someone to replace the boards in out home and they don't do it or don't do it very well then we don't trust them to do that again. Unless we know they are capable and we think they just screwed up. Your advisor gives you investment advice which does not work out then you "trust" them less.
So I would disagree that it takes "seconds to break". Because once you get to know someone and you have had good luck with them and a good working relationship and if they sometimes mess up you still trust them and you use them again because you know they do good work.
I would say not a matter of lies as long as they are not pertinent to the nature of your relationship. So if I hired someone to work on my car and they did not do it and I inquired why not doubtless they would not tell me they were at the casino gambling but they would say something else which they think would bolster my confidence in them. My boss trusts me to get my work done in a satisfactory manner and to so a little more than just that. So if he asks me where I have been I would not tell him I was at a motel with someone but I might say OK I had a late lunch or something like that. Which is a lie to keep his confidence in me. And which as long as I continue to satisfy his expectations of me in the office he will not really care about.
Don Barzini 