Active Now

Element 99
Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » It's funny odd how many "gotta haves" when you're younger become unimportant/irrelevant/immaterial. What's one you don't have/one you do?
RosieG

It's funny odd how many "gotta haves" when you're younger become unimportant/irrelevant/immaterial. What's one you don't have/one you do?

I used to love going out dancing. That was a "gotta have". A guy who enjoyed dancing and was very good at it! Jim and I have never once gone out dancing. You know what? I don't care! I'm happy. One silly gotta have that not having matters not at all!

Non-smoker. Jim smoked decades before we met but quit and I never had to endure stinky air or living with second hand smoke which is what killed my sister-in-law and might have killed me.

What I don't have is so ridiculous it's embarrassing. What I do have is life-saving. I lucked out. Did you too?

Posted - April 30, 2019
Tags : None

Responses


  • 6098
    Although I grew up comfortably when I got on my own I had very little so did not expect much of life in the way of material things.  Mostly spending time with people I liked was most important.  Yes I went to clubs because that is what most young people my age did and not just because I liked dancing though that was fun.  When I started doing better and I could afford some nice things I never dreamed when I was young I would want.  Such as painting and prints.  I like to have the freedom of being myself but in the end what I choose to do reflects more what I feel I am best at and what makes me feel the best about myself.  Outside of obligations which of course I have as well.  What means the most to me is just spending time with my husband which sometimes means shopping or going to concerts or taking walks or even just talking of watching stupid TV shows together or just being in one another's presence doing different things.  Which is where I feel best about myself and most secure. 
      April 30, 2019 7:33 AM MDT
    1

  • 113301
    ((hugs)) This is the MOST BEAUTIFUL AND TOUCHING reply you have ever given me og. I LOVE IT. Thank you for replying to my question and sharing another part of you....I think it is maybe the very best part. I feel the same way about Jim. You do realize how very lucky we are don't you? Happy Wednesday m'dear! :)
      May 1, 2019 3:01 AM MDT
    0

  • 6023
    Hmmmm ... other than necessities like clothing and shelter ... I can't think of any "gotta haves".
    There's plenty of material things I'd miss, for sure ... but I could replace them.
       IE: I'd really miss my Kindle - but I could go back to daily visits to the library.
      April 30, 2019 3:05 PM MDT
    1

  • 113301
    Thank you for your reply Walt and Happy Wednesday. Funny you should mention Kindle as something you'd really miss. My sister-in-law Jo, who passed away a few years ago, had one. I saw it and held it and hated it! I love the feel of books. I love turning each page. Holding a metal electronic thingy in my hands just wouldn't cut it. However there are fewer bookstores and old-fashioned libraries in existence today thanks to Amazon. And if you are shut-in or have difficulties going out then they are a godsend. My sister-in-law was on oxygen 24/7 due to the emphysema she got from the years of living with constant second-hand smoke. You aren't a shut-in are you Walt?
      May 1, 2019 3:27 AM MDT
    0

  • 6023
    Not a shut-in.
    I haven't been to the local library for ... ages.
    I had read most of the "entertainment" books, by the time I graduated high school.
    I heard that the city council is considering closing the Library, because the only time it's used is for the "children's story hour".
    The library of our twin city moved to the local mall ... and it's seldom visited, either.

    I just prefer the Kindle because I can store hundreds of books on it, so it makes it easier to read whatever without having to lug a dozen around with me.  I can easily read that many on a weekend.
      May 1, 2019 9:03 AM MDT
    0

  • 628

    Hello Rosie.
    That would be just about everything. When I was younger, the time before I got married, my main concern was that I presented the image I had of myself. Spent a lot of money on clothes, cars, furniture. where I went, what I did, all to stoke my own ego. I carried the need for "things" into my marriage. We were doin great, Had 2 children with my wife, was buying and selling houses...livin' the life. then one night everything changed, lost everything, all those things and my looks and my wife. I was then awarded sole custody of my 2 small children. Buying a new shirt at the Polo Store at Stanford just didn't seem important. No longer could I spend money feeding my own desires, it ll became about the kids, had to change my life completely.
    I developed a habit of buying everything second hand. If I want something 'nice', I will find that thing in a condition that demands restoration. I wear, in the summer, jeans and Hawaiian shirts, which I buy of ebay or in thrift shops. In the winter I wear vintage wool winter sweaters, which I also buy on ebay.
    I have become much more Those things that I just had to have those years ago seem ridiculous to me now and I really like the life I have now, as simple as it is, so much more than when I was chasing things..

      April 30, 2019 6:11 PM MDT
    1

  • 113301
    You "lost" your looks des? Well I have never been about "things". That original you would never have appealed to me. Of course the me I am you would never have paused to chat with either so there you are. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for you but I guess it was something you had to live through in order to find the very best you. That's the guy who was my friend way back when. Authentic. Real. Honest.  Straightfoward. SIMPLE in its very best sense. My son and I used to haunt thrift stores. You can get some wonderful things there...things that give off the vibes of all the people who ever owned them. A brand-new house or one that has been lived in by others? I am not a fan of BRAND NEW. I like character and substance and BRAND NEW hasn't had the time to develop it. If you like flashy and grandiose and lavish and garish well it's available as long as you have the big bucks. Trying to impress others also never appealed to me. Trying to keep up with them? Not a chance. So while I'm sorry you had to go through the flames to be reborn look where you are now and whom you are. Some of us just have to walk a more difficult path to find ourselves. Others are luckier. Thank you for your thoughtful and informative reply des. I think maybe it's a reward to be happier as you get older. I'm gonna ask.  :)
      May 1, 2019 3:37 AM MDT
    0