Why drag them along on a long trek to somewhere where the folks there would just as soon you never arrive? The long arduous difficult trip is for naught. They want you not. They care about you naught/not,knot. They do not give a rat's a** about you or your precious children. They are not going to welcome you or help you. Stay home. Die at home. Save yourself misery and money and endless hardship since the end will be the same. DEATH.