I don't have even one reliable, kind family member (including parents) so when I try to get my own place/space, I feel an apprehension... there's no one to help me 'if' I needed it ... does anyone here had the experience of living either alone/roommate but w/no contact with any family ? How did it go, feel?
when i was18
went into the Navy
21 when i got out
went home
and step mother said this is not your home anymore.
step dad died at 13
...me real mother threw me away at birth...so yeah.
no family either
but i guess i had a home until i was 18.
don't know your situation...
I can only half answer your question...
For the most part, ya. I mean I keep in contact with a few but no help. I've been out on my own for years, been raising 2 kids by myself for the last almost 5 years too. There's something really empowering about getting out on your own for the first time. Think of it like an adventure. :-) ((HUGS)) to you!!!!
I'm so sorry about your situation... Huggggs. I think real family are people we don't even know well sometimes, or could be friends too...
Yep.
I've lived that way since I left home at 18.
I tend not to rely on others on any practical level at all, except in rare emergencies. (Twice.)
When I say that, it doesn't imply anything good or bad. It is part of my make-up to prefer independence. I feel safer that way.
There are lots of people who get on much better in life because they're good at exchanging favours on a practical level - like types who help each other fix cars or renovate houses.
Emotionally I rely on the quality of my relationships (husband and friends).
Some friends don't or can't fill my needs and others do, each in different ways.
I reciprocate by doing or being the best I can for them - usually, that means active listening.
In therapeutic terms, psychologists recommend that a person escaping from a toxic family needs to form a new family of affiliation - in other words, a circle of supportive and emotionally well-balanced friends.
Part of the healing process is learning how to recognise who these people are (and how to avoid the ones who are not.)
ive been living on no income for almost 5 yrs and dont have family to help me, i do have hud and im on foodstamps and medicaid but no cash coming in cause i qualified for nothing so i went back to school, at least i get financial aid if i cant find work
Huggs.. you are a trooper... :) You'll be qualified to do something, you have talents just like ANYone else...and also congrats for going back to school ..... I just fear that when I get out there, I will feel so so alone; none of my fam. talks to me , they are so rude and I know I need to cut contact from very abusive parents in order for me to start to Live my life... but if i do that, I have no one to ever help me.....I guess I could apply to food stamps or hud if I ever had to though, ty Pearl... huggggggg.
You might discover that you like being alone. It feels safe. Out in the wider world, we can assume nothing about others, expect nothing from them, be independent. And then if friendships develop, count them as a bonus. That's pretty much how I've lived my life and it seems to have had a contrary effect. Friends come, and stay. :)
