Discussion»Questions»Relationships» Do you trust your boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse? Do they trust you? Have you ever been in a relationship that was lacking trust?
Unfortunate to say but it feels like the kind of thing that comes and goes. My spouse and I work at it but I suppose we both have our creative ways of reintroducing doubt at times.
Spouse - trust him in most things: honest, well-meaning, would never deliberately cause me harm. The main reason why I married him.
Over forty years ago I was in a two-year relationship with a man who became increasingly jealous. His rages were violent. I thought I could soothe his jealousy by simply not associating with others at all. He had a kind of paranoid possessiveness. I had never done a thing to deserve such distrust, but I was too young to understand that his feelings were an indication of an abnormal mind. I became so lonely that I took an overdose of his sleeping pills and pain killers. (He'd had a motorbike accident - broken pelvis.) Only later, when I was woken in hospital, did I discover that the sleeping pills were placebos. Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing this. The shrinks helped me leave the relationship and start a new life.
After a period of hanging around in the safety of women-artists' co-ops and slowly recovering, I met my future husband. I felt no physical attraction to him, just loved his friendship and the feeling of safety. Eventually, we did get together sexually. There was no bonfire - no flame of being in love - but it was adequate enough - and love slowly grew. Today, I count myself lucky that we've made it through the years. The trust between us is everything, honoured and appreciated on both sides.
The forthright honesty of your answer here commands my attention and I am riveted by your story. I am sure that same forthright honesty exists in the daily dealings you have with people in your life, and that, I imagine, would most assuredly earn their respect and prove you to be one who is worthy of their trust.
Don and I trust eachother and ourselves infinitely. No. I've never been in a relationship, as far as boyfriend where trust has been an issue. With my parents, yes, and well that it should have been.
I trust my boyfriend. I hope he trusts me. I have been in a horrendous relationship which was highly abusive. I have numerous scars (physical and emotional) to prove it. It started out great, but it descended into a maelstrom of despair and misery. I saved myself and he died alone in a cold empty house.
This post was edited by Jon at July 9, 2019 6:21 PM MDT
Thank you Merlin. It's is a long sordid story, a tragedy if you will. It started out beautiful and ended in pain. Sometimes the survivors are the ones who suffer the most because their heartache is an emotional scar, a pockmark that never completely fades away.
So true. Emotions are so delicate. When you have the ability to "feel" about, around, for, and with someone, it leaves you vunerable to all of them. Good and Bad. If there were a magic spell where I could erase the hurt mentally and physically, I would wish it for you. Unfortunately, I haven't found that spell in the wizardess book, yet... but I'll keep looking. When I do find it, you'll be the first to know and I will send it your way. :) :)
I am speechless... From the moment I met you, that point of intersection where our lives crashed headlong into each other, I have fealt loved. Like two Phoenix, we rise...
inky 