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Discussion » Questions » Emotions » Are ineradicable emotions like anger just glued to the air and can be chosen at any time?

Are ineradicable emotions like anger just glued to the air and can be chosen at any time?

Posted - July 9, 2019

Responses


  • 46117
    The choice IS yours though. Only if you choose to chose them.  
      July 9, 2019 2:30 PM MDT
    1

  • 4625
    Anger is not ineradicable.
    It's certainly not glued to the air. 
    But without heaps of practise, it's not easy to choose or delete anger.

    Think of it as like martial arts.
    The artists practise so that their bodies learn the pathways to travel when the need for self-defence arises.
    When we're angry, we lose empathy and cease to care whether what we say hurts the other. 
    It often leads to an escalation of the problems.
    There are ways of speaking honestly about our observations, interpretations, feelings, reactions and needs which are less likely to trigger others
    and more likely to lead to better understanding and creative solutions.

    Anger is always a secondary emotion.
    Most of us don't realise it because by the time we become aware that we're angry it seems to have struck us like lightning.
    Or the temperature has been rising so imperceptibly that we don't see it till our pot boils over.

    The original emotion beneath anger is either fear, shame or pain.
    Sometimes it's a mix of these.

    Once one becomes aware of the anger, it helps to go somewhere alone and meditate, get under the surface, see what's really going on.
    This is important for breaking the habits of acting out on anger.
    Acting out, verbally or violently, rewards the system, increases the likelihood of a shorter fuse, and builds towards rage addiction.
    Say something like, "Excuse me, please. I notice I'm feeling angry and I need to take 20 minutes or so to calm down. Can we make a time to talk about this later?"

    I can talk about this at much greater length if desired...
    how to find the emotion beneath the surface,
    how to identify the need it signals,
    how to look at our thoughts and interpretations,
    how to communicate these in ways that are less likely to trigger others,
    and how to approach finding solutions.
      July 9, 2019 2:50 PM MDT
    2

  • 4625
    Thanks for the pick, Cosmic. :)
      July 10, 2019 4:39 AM MDT
    1

  • 4625
    Thanks for the pick, Cosmic. :)
      July 10, 2019 4:39 AM MDT
    1

  • 4625
    Anytime.
    Would love to.
      July 10, 2019 4:39 AM MDT
    0