Discussion » Questions » answerMug Members » What are you going to buy Randy and I for our wedding present?
Benedict Arnold

What are you going to buy Randy and I for our wedding present?

If it’s something awesome like a pony or a boat, you’re invited to my divorce party on Sunday. It’s gonna be a tops party, cos Randy’s alimony checks will be financing it. If it’s tilde or sandwich related, YOU CAN NOT COME TO MY PARTY. So what’s my present? 


Posted - August 29, 2019
Tags : None

Responses


  • 16763
    Kan eye rite the invitayshun kards?

    That should give him a heart attack - forget alimony, you can collect his life insurance.
      August 29, 2019 9:04 PM MDT
    3

  • Lol :) okay... you’re invited to the celebration of life (death) party! Genius... I like the way you think ;)
      August 29, 2019 9:14 PM MDT
    1

  • 10052
    Randy gets a case of mayo and a case of vegemite. 

    I'll break into Element99's house and steal his jar of fingernail clippings for you. 
      August 29, 2019 9:10 PM MDT
    2

  • SAVVY! You got Randy related presents :( I know he hates them but they’re still for RANDY!! I guess we won’t be doing shots at my divorce party:(<——- did I sound whiny enough or should I try harder?? ;p 
      August 29, 2019 9:16 PM MDT
    2

  • 10052
    What?? You don't want Ele's jar o' nail clippings? 

    Fine. I'll bring you a jar of Ray's sweat after I'm finished with him.  How's that? 

    I don't do shots, but I will take a celebratory toke or two. :P
      August 29, 2019 9:19 PM MDT
    2

  • AFTER YOU‘RE FINISHED WITH HIM??? What??? NO TOKE FOR YOU! 
      August 29, 2019 9:21 PM MDT
    1

  • 53503

      Why can't you just get used to it?  I  certainly have!  Don't worry, I'll have them take a number AFTER you and I finish our one-hour honeymoon. I'm romantic like that.

    ~
      August 29, 2019 11:16 PM MDT
    1

  • I’m not waiting until Sunday...I WANT A DIVORCE! STAT! 
      August 30, 2019 5:55 PM MDT
    1

  • 46117
    A silver spoon to gouge your eyes out.  Then take the handle and break your ear drums.  It is a mercy breaking.

    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at August 30, 2019 5:55 PM MDT
      August 29, 2019 11:57 PM MDT
    2

  • Lol okay, you’re invited to my divorce party. 
      August 30, 2019 5:55 PM MDT
    2


  • I'm buying you Greenland. 
    I heard it might be for sale.  Enjoy!  It's all yours.

      August 30, 2019 12:16 AM MDT
    3

  • I love it!! You’re coming to my party then...please bring the purple glitter. ;) 
      August 30, 2019 5:56 PM MDT
    3

  • 46117
    IT IS NOT for sale. OH wait. She's in CANADA. Not the USA? Not under Trump?  Go for it. FOR SALE CHEAP.  
      September 1, 2019 11:23 PM MDT
    2

  • 17592
    *me*

    You have to get this before marrying Randy.  Otherwise, he will make your life miserable.  He'll send you to night school for grammar lessons.  He does that with all of his wives I hear.  
      August 30, 2019 12:17 AM MDT
    3

  • 53503

      I like the King Henry VIII approach to matrimony; marry 'em, tolerate 'em for a while, have my fun, but one grammatical error, and it's off with their heads!  Next!
    ~


    This post was edited by Randy D at September 2, 2019 12:54 AM MDT
      August 30, 2019 5:22 AM MDT
    2

  • I bet all his wives appreciate getting away from the kitchen sandwich duties while at night school... I’ll take it:)  
      August 30, 2019 5:57 PM MDT
    2

  • 53503

      Your flimsy plan will never work; the Rand-Man just doesn't pay alimony!  See you on consumption consummation night, Honey!


    ~
    This post was edited by Randy D at September 1, 2019 11:24 PM MDT
      August 30, 2019 6:00 AM MDT
    2

  • ”CONSUMPTION“ night????? I’m scared....
      August 30, 2019 5:58 PM MDT
    2

  • 53503
    ~
      September 1, 2019 11:19 PM MDT
    1

  • 46117
    Freudian slip if you ask me.
      September 1, 2019 11:25 PM MDT
    1