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How would you handle this one if you were me?

Most of you know I work in a spa as a massage therapist.  I am pretty good.  I do not think of myself as some great doctor or anything,  but I get along with people and most people leave my room feeling happy and want to see me again.  I am a good sales person.   I make sure I can make as much money for the spa as possible.  But, I keep getting these nagging messages from the Owner saying stupid nitpicking things.  Instead of complimenting me on the many compliments I get and being grateful for my contributions, which I NEVER HEAR A WORD ABOUT, I hear things like someone saying something on line about me that I cannot defend because it is my word against someone who cannot say it to the spa but must TWEET about it?  Come on.  If this happened a lot, I would worry. It doesn't.  BUT? Every time it does, I  have to get some stupid note saying someone said the CBD oil massage didn't work or something stupid like that.  What do I do?  QUIT?  GO SOMEWHERE ELSE?  WHAT?  

Posted - December 3, 2019

Responses


  • 32529
    Ask what the complaint was about.  Try not to be defensive. Say you are looking for ways to improve.

    Are they complaining about the massage itself? Or the product? Maybe they expected the CBD oil it give them an high effect during the massage?
      December 3, 2019 6:15 PM MST
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  • 46117
    I like what you are saying, My 2.  And I agree so much so, that this is exactly what I have done in the past all the way up to this moment.  They are not complaining about anything I can address.  It is mundane customer complaints.  Like, say you sold (you work for me now in this example, okay?  Say you sold twice as many garden ornaments as my best sales person besides you, who has been there for many years longer.  Say that you have done so many other accomplishments like that, that you should be texted and thanked at least for doing a good job.  BUT?  INSTEAD?  You get messages saying that someone wrote a complaint on the internet about you causing a complaint from one person?  In my case, a black and blue mark.  ???

    Let me tell you how stupid that one is.  First of all, I doubt very much that I ever caused any one a black and blue mark, and most people come in with plenty.  I check in continuously in every massage to make sure the pressure is something they want.  I never have this problem.  I have heard over and over that therapists have caused my clients black and blue marks, and the clients themselves do not care at all.  They expect it, when there is a deeper pressure.  It happens.  All the time.  So? To make any deal of this at all is quite extraordinary in light of the fact that I do more massages than most people that work there and the STATISTICS WILL PROVE that I actually have far less complaints than would be expected from someone with my output.  BUT THE OWNER?  He won't see this my way.  He will just do it again. So, if I am going to stay there? How do I buffer these attacks from annoying me?  I know if I leave, I will get someone else that will annoy me.  


    How am I ever going to defend my not causing someone a black and blue mark?  And even if I did cause one, it is NO BIG FREAKING DEAL AT ALL.    This post was edited by WM BARR . =ABSOLUTE TRASH at December 4, 2019 5:45 AM MST
      December 3, 2019 6:23 PM MST
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  • 32529
    Is he really complaining or just letting you know. I have had one or two people leave me a complaint. One even saying no one was on site for 30 min. And they could not get help. Now I know they got help because my worker called me to ask about a price.  They were mad cause I dod not give them a bigger discount. Is what it really came down to. Another claimed we were not open. I was working myself that I know I was open.  Some customers are just a paom and want to gripe...normally looking for a freeby. Your boss should know this by now. 

    Perhaps the customer was new to massages and did not know wjat to expect with a deep tissue massage. Personally I did not know about the possibility of a bruise. And would likely be surprised if one happened and could think something was done incorrectly. 
    This does tell me I would not like that type of massage. I do not let my husband massage my neck and shoulders because it is uncomfortable. I always tell him he is too rough. Lol. 


    But personally, I as a boss would not worry about it unless it became a common occurrence. I do try and give positive feedback to employees. But it is easy to forget during the day to day happenings. 

    As an employee, I would ask if the boss has any suggestions to make your performance better. And try to implement them if possible.

      December 3, 2019 7:01 PM MST
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  • 46117
    You are giving very sane advice and I appreciate that.  I thought he was kind of like you, even and sane, but I don't know if it is just because he is getting a divorce and the spa is on his shoulders, or if he is just a nit-picker.  It is very difficult to do this job and it is way more difficult when the BOSS is texting me about things that are never complimentary.  

    I don't think you are like that.  I see you as someone that would thank a worker for being a good worker.  He doesn't.  He just points out mistakes.  And it gets a tad annoying when you are trying to focus on a client and have your hands on them.  They can feel if you are into it or not.  But, I digress.  He will never understand that aspect of it anyway.  As I do not realize the problems on his shoulders at present.  I'm sure.  Talking this out helps.  It seems that the more success I have at that place, the more they (meaning him) try and stand on my neck.  

    He buys CBD Oil and asks at a meeting who thinks it is a good idea and who can sell it.  I TOLD HIM TO BUY it and guaranteed that people will love it if it is good.  And it is good.  I sell a LOT of this product.  For about $5 worth of product (an ounce) I make him $30.  I sell enough of that stuff to pay for the whole half-gallon myself.  So, what is his problem?  Sheeesh.  
      December 3, 2019 8:17 PM MST
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  • 52905

      Are some people highly susceptible to getting black and blue marks even from the slightest touch?
    ~
      December 4, 2019 5:48 AM MST
    1

  • 19942
    If you are on certain medications, i.e., Eliquis or any other blood thinner, you have a tendency to bruise easily.
      December 4, 2019 10:05 AM MST
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  • 4631
    I think my2cents's response sounds the most sensible.
    She covers the most likely variables.

    Some people never give feedback unless it's negative, others the opposite - which gives one a clue about how things are going when they're silent.

    Massage is a very personal thing. I would imagine it is impossible to please absolutely everyone.

    Receiving a massage is a very passive thing. For some people, it can be very hard to talk at all when in that state.

    Some people have difficulty expressing negative reactions to someone's face - and then end up complaining behind their backs - because it's easier. This behaviour is not a kindness to anyone, but it's surprisingly common, like negative gossip.

    Maybe you could ask people to fill out a feedback form after the massage, at the time when you leave them to get dressed. You could then offer them a closed box with a slot to drop the feedback in.
    This way the feedback is immediate and you're more prepared for what might come later. Or if they mysteriously change their mind, you have a record.

    I agree with you that because the vast majority of your clients have positive reactions, it reflects well on your skill as a masseur.


      December 3, 2019 9:36 PM MST
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  • 46117
    I am so pleased you answered. This is a well=thought-out answer. I would expect no less from you, but it doesn't address the real spa world.  I have EXACTLY 50 minutes to waive a magic wand and do a great massage. I do not have time to get anyone to fill out any forms.  That is about as pleasant as having to fill out those doctor forms when you go for an appointment.  After a massage, not one person wants to fill out a thing.  They don't even want to get up from the table.  And again, I don't have the time. I am very good at knowing what the person on the table thinks of the massage, without them filling out a form.  But, you would not know this and gave a very sensible solution.  I am sure I tried to do this way back when, it just doesn't work. I am not worried that there are people out there that do not like me.  They are few and far between. What upsets me is that I have to deal with an insecure boss who has to make a big deal about things.  

    His wife, who he is divorcing (or she him, do not know the particulars) has so much plastic surgery that she looks like her face is a mask of plastic.  And she tells the skin specialist here, that David (his name) is so picky that he points out every flaw.  So that is his problem.  He likes to point out flaws.  She divorced him and maybe I will follow suit.  Or maybe I will find a way to deal.  I know there are other spas and I know that I can get hired other places.  I have to think about that when I panic over worry about what this man thinks of me as an employee.  
      December 3, 2019 10:39 PM MST
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  • 4631
    Sounds like another spa might be the way to go.
    I'd hate to have to cope with a white-anting boss like that.
    I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of your clients followed you to the new place.
      December 3, 2019 11:58 PM MST
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  • 52905
    Is "white-anting" an Australianism?
    ~
      December 4, 2019 5:42 AM MST
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  • 52905

      If going somewhere else is A) readily available to you as an option, B) is probably going to be less stressful than your current workplace, and C) offers pay and benefits at or above your current level, then you should do it.



    ~
      December 3, 2019 10:53 PM MST
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  • 9778
    This is not unusual. Doing a good job is expected of you so you get less feedback when that happens. When you get less than positive comments, consider them carefully, decide if they have merit, and use them to improve if it's appropriate. For example (keep in mind I know nothing about massage, if you are using deep pressure on a new client, say something like 'it's not unusual for this kind of pressure to leave a slight bruise, it that okay with you?'. Accept your boss for who he is and focus on your clients and keeping them returning for your services.
      December 4, 2019 5:17 AM MST
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