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RosieG

Do you accept praise/compliments with kindness and grace whether you agree with them or not?

Once upon a time long on Answerbag a bagger (female) told me that any time anyone ever complimented her about anything she immediately became suspicious and wondered what that person wanted from her. I was shocked.

Do you feel similarly and find those who compliment duplicitous and deceitful?

Can you imagine going through life with that view? Miserable isn't it?

If you say "what a lovely dress" and she says "WHAT? THIS OLD THING"? Kinda make you feel dumb. Why do people not understand that a compliment is given honestly (I am not talking about con artists shammy scammers or liars) and kindly and should be received respectfully and appreciatively. In my opinion. Having to say that seems ridiculous to me but we live in a world that is ridiculous sadly so you have to stipulate and be precise 24/7 and even then word twisters show up to screw it and you up for fun. For how long? Can't say. Can't guess.

Posted - January 25, 2020
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Responses


  • 783
    I have never been wary of compliments unless it is coming from someone I know is very fake and deceitful. Honestly, I don’t have many people like that in my life and I have had little reason to ever believe any compliments given were done to gain anything. They always seem warm and genuine. 
      January 25, 2020 8:15 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Ditto Lady Ondine. Me too! Thank you for your thoughtful reply! :)
      January 25, 2020 10:14 AM MST
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  • 34673
    I just say thank you and leave it at that. 

    Aome people feel uncomfortable receiving a compliment and think just accepting it is like bragging. So they say "this old thing." 
    And others look for what the person wants from them for giving a compliment. 
      January 25, 2020 8:27 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Exactly my point m2c. A SLAP IN THE FACE of the person who gives the sincere compliment. Such people who see it as bragging or don't believe it live in a VERY DARK PLACE of suspicion. Not my cuppa tea. Thank you for your reply! :)
      January 25, 2020 10:16 AM MST
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  • 34673
    I do not look at it as an insult to the complement giver. They are just trying to feel modest. 
      January 25, 2020 10:37 AM MST
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  • 10700
    All compliments are not genuine.   Accepting every compliment as truth is foolish.  Then again, so is accepting then all as deceit.

    People become wary of something when they have been burned by it before.  Flattery is ear candy - sweet to hear when genuine, but sour to stomach when found to be deceit.  Being burned over and over by flattery (false compliments) trends to harden a person.  They lose trust.  If everyone were honest, there would be no problem.  Problem is, not everyone is.

    I'll admit that I'm somewhat wary of compliments.  While I've received many compliments that were genuine,  I've also received many that were lies; given only meant to make me lower my defences so the giver could gain an advantage (especially true in the business world).  When weighing compliments 'tis best to consider the source.  If the source of the complaint is not trustworthy, then it's highly likely than the compliment isn't either.
      January 25, 2020 10:38 AM MST
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  • 783
    I mean, it really depends on the compliment, doesn’t it? 

    “I love your dress!” is such an innocent comment that I’d find it hard to believe anyone could use it against you to “weaken your defenses.” 

    But in a work setting there can be backhanded compliments or passive aggressive comments, I’m sure. Again, not sure how it really does anything negative to you unless you are so overly sensitive to everything that a comment can influence your every behavior. This post was edited by Lady Ondine at January 25, 2020 4:13 PM MST
      January 25, 2020 10:44 AM MST
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