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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » All men have mothers so that is irrelevant. Here's the question. Are men who have sisters/daughters more respectful of women than other men?
RosieG

All men have mothers so that is irrelevant. Here's the question. Are men who have sisters/daughters more respectful of women than other men?

Having a mother doesn't seem to mean a dam* thing with sex perverts who abuse/rape/humiliate/denigrate/deprecate women. What does?
Maybe growing up with a sister or having daughters does open them up to such a view. I don't know. That's why I'm asking.

Posted - February 1, 2020
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Responses


  • 1152
    While I don't know what the available data is to answer your question, I think I know the mechanism which explains the horrors you observe.

    It is an unfortunate fact of human cognition that we are quite capable of treating other people as mere objects.

    So, when a rapist thinks about his sister or mother, he uses the part of his brain which processes human relationships and emotions.

    When a rapist thinks about his victim, he very likely is using the part of his brain which processes thoughts about hammers, table lamps, the 1973 Denver Broncos, and so forth.

    In the extreme, people who wish to rationalize atrocity start using the part of their brains which process thoughts about animals, insects, and so forth in order to justify their maltreatment of other people. Wherever you find atrocity, you will almost always find the abusers describing their victims as "rats" or "vermin" or "cockroaches" or "parasites" or the like. This is remarkably consistent across time and across cultures/languages.

    It is very likely the abusers you cited in a question related to this one were reasonably well-behaved towards women they considered family or close friends...because they saw the women as people, not objects.
      February 1, 2020 9:56 AM MST
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  • 113301
    Logic-tight compartments. I read about that once upon a time in the long ago. That it is quite possible to hold two opposing views simultaneously and be totally unaware of it. That must be the case with rapists/abusers unless incest is also part of the mix. It is sad and shocking and amazingly hurtful that women are objects to so many men...sometimes even the most enlightened. Once again it is what it is. Thank you for your very thoughtful reply SP. Where this goes nobody knows. Certainly not me! :) ((hugs)) Pardon the presumption of hugs but I'm old (82) and not a threat. The hugs are for your going so much out of your way to educate me about what is. I appreciate it very bigly! :)
      February 1, 2020 10:42 AM MST
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  • 783
    What about women who do those things to men or other women, or even children? It happens both ways. I don’t believe it is born of an inherent lack of respect for the opposite sex, but rather a need for power and control. This post was edited by Lady Ondine at February 1, 2020 11:10 AM MST
      February 1, 2020 11:09 AM MST
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  • 1152
    The capacity to treat other people as objects or vermin is a human universal. I suspect below a certain age children lack the necessary metaphoric framework to engage in this trick, but that would be the only prominent exception.
      February 1, 2020 11:21 AM MST
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  • 783
    Yes, I know. I have that capacity to switch on and off who I care about. Although I did as a child as well. 
      February 1, 2020 11:23 AM MST
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  • 1152
    Oh, I suspect 6-month-old Infant Ondine didn't care about much beyond meals and naps...  But your point is taken. Once children develop language, they also develop the metaphoric frameworks of language, so dehumanization is possible even by children. In fact, there's a famous (albeit rather unethical) lay experiment about this performed by an elementary school teacher in the 1960s.

    https://www.smithsonianmag.com/science-nature/lesson-of-a-lifetime-72754306/
      February 1, 2020 11:31 AM MST
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