Latest Ten

  • We  hate because it is a convenient way to alleviate our inner or outer suffering and help us feel better about ourselves.  Sitting in judgment of others lends us a sense of moral superiority, a sense of being "good", which we are unable to find...
  • ‘Ol Joe, you could say, was a man’s man. With regaling stories of the wild west. Of an era where right and wrong were clear, Quick with a joke, full of zest.   Now, ‘ol Joe, he came to town, But never much cared for fightin&rs...
  • Many of you are familiar with our Project Wonderful ads. Those are the little gems that usually run across the tops of pages. They feature a lot of web comics, games, and bloggers, as well as small businesses, such as those who sell “goodies” ...
  • Is, quite simply, to cultivate oneself and help others do so. We cultivate ourselves through relationships, family, community, work, learning, study, reflection, ideals, vision, experience.We help others through support, aid, assistance, comfort, fri...
  • I found the below series of articles because I had a problem. A situation where the rules of morality seemed certain to escalate the problem instead of solving anything, so I Googled "The Road to Hell is Paved with Good Intentions" hoping to find somewher...
  • the people are fantasy figures: cat girls, mermaids, frogs, demons, fish, bulls, ..., there is even one that is a snake.But first of all they are all people. And that develop into comme...
  • why all the shootings?what kind of era have we entered?in the uk ,they have gun control but stabbing deaths have what is the answer?these killers are not soul perhaps?
  • a 17 year old girl created this The Truth behind Your Food   By sister-initiate Hui-Ming Toh, Auckland, New Zealand (Originally in English)   Would you ever open your fridge, pull out twenty plates of pasta and chuck them into the ...
  • I am a big supporter of trying to make wearing unused plastic garbage, trash, bin bag/liners mainstream fashion.  I hope that you at least try wearing them once.  Please let me know why you won't try it and also how come you disagree.  But ...
  • I am so into the writings of my life over the past too many years I continually find a new line to add to the old. More so the old lines seem to become who I am more and more every day. I decided instead of just sharing my writings on my websites to span ...

Active Now

Devil's Advocate
Randy D
welcome to the pleasuredome


Helping My Mother Understand

  • My mom was deemed "mentally incompetent" following her stroke. There are a million things that highlight this, like today, when her arm slipped under her seat belt strap and she couldn't figure out how to remove it.


    Or, like the fact that she swears people are stealing stuff from her room, but when I look for it, it's right where it's supposed to be.


    And, like the times when she lived with me and she'd wake up and insist that I moved all the furniture in her bedroom while she was sleeping. 


    And, when she'd wake up at 3am and insist that we slept in and demand her breakfast. I could show her that the moon was still up and she wouldn't accept it. I must have done something to make it dark outside.


    And, how she was offered free equine therapy, but refused to take it because they wanted her to start out in a cart and not on horseback because she couldn't sit up straight or sit up for more than 30 seconds without drifting to one side or the other. "They don't know what they're talking about," she said. "I may not be able to sit up in a chair, but I'm not going to fall off a horse."


    Despite all this, my mom doesn't realize she has limitations. Most of the time, I just bite my tongue, but the doctors all say she needs to accept her reality and learn to adapt to her new lifestyle. 


    These things aren't so bad, but my mom also refuses most forms of occupational therapy because she says none of it will matter when all her physical abilities go back to normal. 


    And, my mom keeps talking about how she is going to live on her own.


    And, my mom says she's going to get a dog and a house. 


    She's going to live with so-and-so (The name changes a lot, but it's often another family member or an old friend) until she's back on her feet. She doesn't mind sleeping on the sofa. 


    We have been through this 1,000 times. "Mom, who will dress you? Who will change you? Who will bathe you?"

    "So-and-so will." 

    "Mom, that's a big job."

    "Ok, I'll do it myself."

    "Why don't you do it yourself now?"

    "Oh, you just know everything, don't you?"


    Most of the time, it isn't so bad, but she gets combative and blames me for holding her back a lot. Today, my mom said she's getting a job. She's going to save up and move to another state where she will live with so-and-so (a woman who opened up a donation account in my mother's name a while back and then kept the funds for herself). 


    "Mom, you need a guardian. The court won't let you be without one and I can't be an effective guardian if you're out of state."

    "I have a plan. I have a checklist. I'm going to complete it and then I won't need a guardian anymore and then I'm going to go."

    "Ok, mom."