I'm bored. and it amazes me everyday how we've evolved into thinking, creative beings. Composing music, dancing, creating buildings, questioning each other's motives, lying to each other, falling in love and articulating it in words and sounds and similes.. falling out of love and inventing new ways to feel the pain.. it's all so very fascinating.
And to think that one day this all wasn't the case -- to think that existence didn't have a conscious mind hovering over it, or at least trying to analyze it piece by piece.
It's just an interesting idea that all this was here with no one to think about it or give it meaning or purpose, then we came along and thought wow, it must be here because of a reason and that reason must be us, man how arrogantly self-centered were we and continue to be? Is it for the sake of creating meaning? Were we overwhelmed? It's understandable but also quite shitty.
You don't need meaning to get up in the morning, your body just does it automatically, but it's beautiful outside and there are sun beams crashing against your windowpanes.. so.. it must mean something.. ? because we can calculate it perhaps.. ? because we can observe it for the beauty it emanates.. ? because we have words to describe that beauty and have brain cells that makes sense of it to some extent.. ?
.. but is that good enough?
Nature existed without us and we were more like an afterthought. It's not ours, but we think it is because we can interpret it in ways it itself can't or won't interpret itself in. We can point at things and say they're nice and serve a purpose.. but these things don't know that.. so who's more correct? Who has the final say in who things belong to at the end of the day? Does nature belong to us or do we belong to nature..? or do we just coexist in this mass universe, drowned in each other with no way out?
But wait -- there might be a way out. We need to create a way out otherwise we'd be too encompassed by the sheer weight and size of the world around us. The way out is simply: meaning. This is why religions were born and why we believed in god and goddesses and remain to.
It's okay, we need meaning to function, even though everything is void and meaningless and some of it is gorgeous but even that dictates some sort of meaning to exist at all..
but it'll be a while until we realize that things can be meaningless and beautiful at the same time and maybe that's enough, maybe we need not be overwhelmed.. and just let things be.. the way they've always been before we were here.
