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Discussion » Statements » Rosie's Corner » If you could know IN ADVANCE what the outcome of a relationship would be and saw it would end badly would you avoid it entirely?
RosieG

If you could know IN ADVANCE what the outcome of a relationship would be and saw it would end badly would you avoid it entirely?

Sometimes kids kill their parents. Maybe because the parents abused them terribly. But if the parents had known in advance how things would end would they simply not have kids? Or would they have had them anyway?

Maybe life is supposed to be like that. That you experience massive joy and massive sorrow. Maybe it's necessary for your growth and development. Maybe it's "in the cards" from the moment of birth. T'is a puzzlement.

Posted - March 1, 2020
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Responses


  • 6477
    Yes, absolutely I'd avoid it.. I've seen it postulated that human beings aren't meant to be monogamous and that we should all have an option after 7 years to reevaluate and end the relationship.. No, that wouldn't work for me.. If there was a chance of my partner turning round after 7 years and saying goodbye, I'd rather not have had that relationship..I  know people say that there would still be value in it and that there are lessons to be learned .. but no, not for me, I'd prefer to avoid those lessons..

    I have good reasons, I think  for saying this... relationships are meant to be entered into for all the right reasons - knowing you can just terminate it means you have less investment.. knowing you can just end it means you don't have the incentive to work on it, to make it work..  So no!

    Of course relationships can and do end.. some end horribly... as you mentioned.. kids definitely don't always turn out how you imagined... but I still think you have to put your best foot forward... and keep supporting them as best you can.
      March 1, 2020 11:04 AM MST
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  • 113301
    As a long-time friend has said to me over almost 4 decades "IT'S COMPLICATED". SIGH. Thank you for your thoughtful reply. I, like you, would absolutely avoid every relationship that sours severely. Who needs that crap when you're old? No one. It is said "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all". Bullsh**! People who have never coupled with anyone for a serious length of time or married or had kids can have very wonderful excellent superb HAPPY lives so I don't buy that for a minute.  Whereas those who did and it ended very badly will be damaged broken pained.Thank you for your reply Addb! :)
      March 1, 2020 11:37 AM MST
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  • 10699
    Do any relationships not end "badly"?

    Let's say I knew for sure (100%) which team is going to win Super Bowl LV, and the final score - and I tell you.  Let's also say that you're an avid football fan and it's your team who will lose.  Would you still want to watch the show?  How about al the games prior to the big one?  I mean, why bother as you already know the outcome.  Will you still root for your team knowing that although they will make to the big game, they will lose? Isn't the joy of watching your team struggle (and win) to get to the big game still enjoyable?

    Say you're pregnant and that you know full well (100%) that 37 years from now that child who's inside you will walk into your house and shoot you in the head.  Will you abort it?  Why?  Aren't the joy/pains of motherhood that will occur before that time (37 years worth) worth that final "pain"?
    Is there a voice in your head saying, "but it might be different"?.  If I root more, maybe my team will win.  If I spend lots of time with the child and teach it to be virtuous, maybe the outcome will be different. 

    Why should one bother to get married and live with their loving spouse for 50 (or so) years when they already know full well that when the other dies they'll be thrust into a life of painful loneliness, agonizing emptiness and bitter heartache?  Why on earth would anyone want to subject themselves to that when they can stop it before it happens?

    We  don't really know the future.  I don't  know who's going to win Super Bowl LV (...or do I).  A pregnant woman doesn't know if the child inside her will one day bring about her death.  A young couple getting married don't know if their marriage will last 60 years or 6 months.  All relationships are a gamble.  Sure they may end badly... but then again, maybe they won't.  The "thrill" of life is taking that chance.

      March 1, 2020 2:14 PM MST
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