Not all judgement is bad, or wrong, or negative. Every time a mature and intelligent human makes a decision about another person’s actions, inaction, words, lack of words, personality, looks, etc., that is an example of judgment. Regardless of your positive or negative perception of another person, you judge when you decide. When you agree with another person, you’ve judged him or her as being correct. When you share a person’s opinion on a topic, you have judged him or her. For instance, every person you love or like, you have made a decision about that person based on your judgement of some or many aspects that you perceive. “I like your hairstyle.” Judgement. “You’re the best father in the world.” "I select you for my team." Judgement. "Hold my wallet." Judgment. "I believe you." Judgment. "Yes, the soup you made was delicious." Judgment. "I believe in you." Judgment. “You’re right.” Judgment. “I’m going to follow your lead.” Judgment. “Your house is very well kept.” Judgment. “I love you for who you are.” Judgment. "I would love to go out with you, thank you for asking me!" Judgment. "So-and-so is my favorite singer." Judgment. “Lots of people hoard tildes, don’t listen to anyone who says you’re crazy for doing it, you’re perfectly normal.” Judgment.
The same goes for negative judgment. Someone does or says or is wrong in your opinion, it is your judgment that determines that for you. When you read a news story about a serial child-molester and the innocent victims, ofif in your mind you see something wrong with what he or she did, you’re making a judgment call. Would anyone or could anyone find fault with you for judging that behavior as wrong, or would you prefer to side with the perpetrator merely so that you wouldn’t be judged as judgmental?
It’s part of human nature to judge, it’s something we do every day, several times a day, several times an hour. The only humans who do not judge other humans are those babies too young to know any difference between what they like or do not like in others, and humans who don’t have the developmental capacity to understand. As soon as a baby understands who is nurturing him or her, judgment forms in the mind saying, I recognize this person’s smell, or voice, or heartbeat, or touch, or whatever, and I like it.” Why do you think tiny babies react the way they do when fed, held, touched, talked to, sung to, read to, changed, etc., by various people? If the baby does not feel safe or loved or comforted by the person, he or she will react immediately and let it be known. Mama takes care of the baby all day and all night, Papa walks in and starts talking or holds the baby, and screaming ensues. The baby has just made a judgement that something is wrong. As that same baby grows older, judgement of other people continues to be a part of everyday human interaction that increases in scope and intensity in conjunction with life's experiences.
When people claim that they are not judgmental, I challenge them that they have made at least one decision in their lifetimes of another person, proving them to be wrong that they are not judgmental.
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This post was edited by Randy D at March 28, 2020 6:48 PM MDT
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