Jaimie recently showed favoritism for Jane S over me. Fine. But do I really want those two collaborating?

 Thanks, Pal!  Say, listen: how about if you leave your wife, I leave mine, then you and I run off together?  Oh, wait a second.  Neither one of us is into men, so that would never work. Disregard, please. 



~

My wife is into men. None of them is me!

  That reminds me of the movie title “Anyone But My Husband”.  Lol.



~

  Jaimie, I’m warning you only for your own good, please don’t ever believe a single negative thing that Jane S tells you about me: she’s severely deranged and is most likely off her meds much of the time. The only reason I make it seem as if I’m interested in her is that mental patients have to be humored or else they’ll go off the deep end. Besides, you know that you’re the only woman I really want. (Cough, cough.)



~

Yeah right, is there anyway to double divorce someone??
This post was edited by Jaimie at April 12, 2020 5:41 PM MDT

  Wait, I can’t remember if I was supposed to call you or text you to tell you that you’re the only one. Meh, I might even have the day wrong. If it’s not your turn, Jaimie, please forgive me. There are so many of you that it’s not easy for me juggling this danged schedule. Grrrrrr.





~

And the day has come full circle, back to this again. 

  Hold on, I’m getting an incoming phone call, and it’s on The Harem Hotline. I have to take this, I don’t have time to appease your petty dramas right now. 





*Into the phone: “Hello, this is Big Daddy Ran-Ran, it’s your dime and my time, so you start talking or I’ll start walking.”

~

  In order to double divorce me, we first have to get married again. I, for one, am looking forward to it. 



~

Where’s Jane? I need some advice on obtaining restraining orders, STAT! 

  You know you always loved it when we were married to each other before, so just quit  pretendin’ and drop the linen. 


~

The courthouse is closed right now, so you'll have to rely on social distancing orders. And if you wear your face mask, he might not recognize you. (He's not very bright.)

 Oh, believe me, I’ll recognize Jaime with or without a face mask . . . 



~

  That’s easy: remember that Jaimie is my fake online ex-wife.  Now ask yourself if there’s even a remote possibility that you would have ever dropped the restraining orders long enough to have been married to me?


~

Sybil isn't the only woman with multiple personalities.

  Did you enjoy our marriage as much as I did?


~

You mean did my Jaimie personality enjoy it? No, she was faking the whole time.

  Wait, wha . . . ?  That’s ok; I got mine.


~